Searching for Eden
by Kimberly
Summary: The third impact never happened but will love Prevail for Shinji and Rei? Of couse I'm writing this fic ^_~
1. Default Chapter

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warning: This is a Rei and Shinji fic. It embraces the fact that they are related. It will have spelling errors ^_~ It will be somewhat OOC ^_~ *And* the chapters will be short. I hope you read it anyway. ^o^ *hehe* Oh and flamers there's nothing you can say that will make a bit of difference to me. So don't even waist your time. But if you must, Que sera sera. Oh... I'm changing what happens at the end of Evangelion to suit my story..^_^ so if I get things out of order.. I did it on purpose. *hehe* Maybe.... I never seen the end.. I only read about it on websites ^__^ *giggle*

On with the story.

Searching for Eden

Shinji laid on his bed. His SDAT blasting his music in his ears as he tried to block out the world. No, he was trying to block out the horrible memory of a seeing hundreds of Rei's dieing before his eyes. He was trying to forget the fact that Rei was a clone of his mother. He wanted to forget that Rei really did kill herself to save him. He wanted to forget that the new Rei didn't remember him. All this was just too much to accept for the young pilot. He wasn't ready to know such secrets. He didn't *want* to know such secrets.

Misato slowly opened his door and looked at her charge. She saw his shoulders shudder indicating that he was still crying. He had been like that for almost three days. Damn you Ritsuko! Why did you show him that! Why did you kill all those clone in front of him! You knew that he had feelings for Ayanami She closed the door and walked into the kitchen to get a beer. "If your like this tomorrow Shinji then...." She shook her head. She didn't know what she was going to do. What happened to him wasn't the run of the mill bad experience.

******************

Very early that next morning Shinji woke up. There really was no reason for him to wake up so early. But he felt like he had to. Like something was calling him. So he got up and got dressed and quietly slipped out of the door.

Lethargically he allowed himself to be guided by an unknown force. What his destination, was he had no idea. In all honesty, he didn't care. It wasn't until he came upon Ayanami's building that his trance end. However, this was not were he was being led. He could feel that his journey was not yet over. But he stopped and stared at her building and at the fourth floor anyway. He knew she would be there. Did he want to see her? No. He was afraid of her, of what she was. He was angry at her for being the dummy plugs. The same system that hurt his friend. He angry with her for never telling him what she was or who she was made from. That she was his.... 

He quickly turned his gaze away from the building and toward the direction of what was subliminally calling him. He had a choice to make. One was right and one was wrong.

~~~

Rei had woken up as well. She unwrapped her bandages and threw them on the floor. They were not necessary. She was not injured. She sat at the edge of her bed and stared at the glass beaker that held her 'soul' It was the only thing that she possessed that was her own. But was it her own? She was not exactly sure. Even her body was not her own. Just a copy of one who was cherished. But was she cherished? No. She was a tool. A doll. Her crimson eyes narrowed angry at that realization. 

"I am not a doll!"

She was angry. This was not a new emotion to her. She had been angered before, but never to this degree. Her 'sisters' were murdered. They may have been clones, but they were not dead; not exactly alive either. but they were not dead. They felt the pain of their demise. And why were they killed? Insane jealousy. The doctor was jealous because she wanted to be loved by the commander. 

Why punish the innocent? She couldn't understand. Not that she didn't welcome that fact that she could now die. It was just what she could of done to Dr. Akagi to deserve such malice. 

perhaps it wasn't me She looked at her dresser and noticed the commanders glasses. Her anger was replaced with fury. She hated him. Why? She did not know. She got off the bed and walked to her dresser and gently picked up the spectacles. Before she even realized what she was doing, she crushed them in her hand

"I am not a doll!"

why do I keep saying that? Her own words surprised her. 'Not a doll' Of course she wasn't a doll. Was she? She didn't know. She didn't have enough memories to know. But what she did know was if she were a doll then no longer will she be one again. 

She threw the crushed glasses on floor and walked toward the door. When she opened it she was surprised to see the third child standing there. However she made no response.

His eyes were about five times their normal size. In a moment of bravery, he had ran up the four flights of stairs. He wasn't sure why he came up here for he didn't want to see her EVER again. And he was about to leave when she opened the door. He stood there in total shock for about two minutes.

"Ikari-kun?" Her patients were wearing thin.

"Uh..uh..." He couldn't get any words to come out. "Umm..."

She walked past him. She didn't have time for his stuttering. 

As he watched her walk down the hall, his mouth called out before his brain could stop him "I know what you are, Ayanami!" He then clamped his hand over his mouth.

That got her attention and she turned to face him. "So."

He did not expect her to be so at ease with his confession. He swallowed hard and meekly asked "Why...why.. didn't you tell.. me?"

"You were not authorized to know." Her eyes narrowed slightly in curiosity. "Tell me Ikari-kun. How did you come to find out?"

"R,,R.. Ritsuko.. showed me..." He felt his stomach turn as he remembered what else he witnessed. And Rei standing there in front of him wasn't helping him forget that memory.

She noticed his skin start to pale.

"Anayami.." He held back a gag and grabbed his stomach. "May I use your bathroom. I think I'm going to be sick"

She made a small gesture for him to go ahead. It wasn't like her door was locked or even closed.. With a quick nod he ran into the apartment. Rei was about to turn and go to NERV but she heard him throw up and became curious if he actually made it to the bathroom. When she walked into the apartment she got her answer. He didn't.

"I..I'm sorry." He whimpered "I'll clean it up" He was on his hand and knees. 

"Do not bother, for it makes no difference. I will not be returning to this residence." 

He did not like the tone in her voice. It seem final like that time she told him 'sayonnara'

"Were.. are you going?"

She did not respond. It wasn't his business to know.

He looked away from her, once he realized that he wasn't going to get an answer. He winced when he noticed the mess he made on the floor. Shinji quickly got up and ran to the bathroom to clean up the mess on the floor despite what she told him. He quickly realized that there was nothing in there besides her towel to dry off. He came back out and saw all the bloody bandages on the floor and decided to use them. 

As he cleaned up the mess, his eyes widened. "Oh no!"

She quirked a brow.

He looked up at the girl after he picked up a pair of glasses. "I'm sorry Ayanami.. I know how much these mean to you!" He quickly got up and ran to the bathroom to wash them off. It wasn't until they were clean did he realize that they were crushed. 

"I am not a doll." 

Shinji turned the tender voice at the bathroom doorway. "I...I didn't say..." Her gaze was so intense he couldn't finish what he was saying and had to look away. However her gaze was not directed toward him and he followed it until he was looking down at the glasses he held in his hand. Now he understood the meaning to her words. Never in a million years would he have ever expected her to say those words against his father. 

He looked back at her and said "I am not a doll."

She gave no facial expression to his words. However, she did slightly nod in agreement.

Shinji smiled. He felt a like he was no longer alone. "Ayanami.."

She made no verbal response, but she gave him her total attention.

He wasn't exactly sure if he should talk or not because she didn't respond, but he did anyway. "Are.. you my..mom?"

"No." She answered matter-of-factly.

He gave her a confused look. "B..but.. Ritsuko said that you are...that you are a clone of my mother.."

"If Ritsuko believes that then she was misinformed."

He sighed out in relief. "So you don't have my mother's DNA in you."

"Yes."

"Huh?"

"I do have you mother's DNA in my genetic makeup." She said coolly as if were a common thing and everyone shared that bit of DNA.

"But you just said that ...you ..wasn't...." He tilted his head and gave her a dumbfounded expression. 

With fluid movements she closed the space between them. "Did I give birth to you?"

"Uh..no" He gave her a look that said 'Duh'

"Then how could I be your mother?"

"...." He didn't know how to respond to that question..

"I have *some* of your mother's DNA in my makeup." She took her hand and gently clasped the bottom of his chin and turned his face to stare at the mirror. "If anything..." She turned and faced the mirror too. "We are siblings."

His looked at his reflection and at hers. Until that moment, he never noticed how much they looked alike. Besides the color, their eyes were shaped the same. They had the same mouth and smile and nose. They had the same face, but her was extremely feminine. 

In an awed whisper he said. "We could be twins.." 

After a long pause she said "Perhaps.. if things were different" There was a hint of regret laced in her calm voice. She let go of his face and walked out of the bathroom.

In shock because of what he just realized, Shinji watched her leave. He stayed frozen in the bathroom until her heard the door squeak open. He quickly ran out and yelled "Futago imooto!" (twin sister)

She stopped and turned around "Imooto?" (little sister)

He gave her a sheepish smile as he tiptoed around the mess he made on her floor "Well....you are.. younger....and .. you are my sister."

A small smile appeared on her lips. yes.. I guess you are correct

He gave her a toothy smile seeing that his words pleased her. "Ayanam- ...Rei" It just felt wrong calling her by her obviously false sir name. As he closed the distance between them her remembered that he still holding the crushed glasses in his hands and a new flood of worries consumed him "Where are you going?"

She didn't respond. It wasn't his business to know.

He became afraid for his newly discovered sister's safety. "Please don't do something that will get you hurt..."

She didn't respond. 

He walked to her. "Please.."

She didn't respond. How could she without revealing that she planned to start the third impact *her way*

He gently grabbed her hand. His boldness not only surprised her, it surprise him as well. But what he said next shocked him even more "I forbid it."

She blinked. Hard. "Excuse me?"

He gave her a sheepish grin. "Uh...You can't because...you're.. ." All his nerve was gone. His words were fumbling out his mouth but he pressed on. "Because... we're all we got..."

She didn't respond for she didn't understand. Her browed.

So he continued and tried to clarify his meaning. "You're my family, Rei"

She smiled. It felt right to hear him say that. family She thought to herself. 

He smiled back. It felt right to say those words to her. He always felt bonded to her. He guessed that now he knew why. 

"Oniisan" (big brother)

His smile widened. "Yes imooto-chan?"

She blinked. 

"Gomen"

She shook her head. "I do not mind the term of endearment."

He smiled happily. 

"I will not let you be alone anymore" She said adamantly "I will make sure that you will never have pain again, but I must go if to ensure that."

"What ...what are you going to do?"

She did not answer.

His mind flooded with visions of her confronting his dad and being killed trying to fulfill her declaration. "Rei...I don't mind the pain of the world...." He held onto her hand tighter. "I just don't want to loose you again...please don't challenge my father for me." 

She didn't respond, for clearly he had the wrong idea of her intentions. 

He felt that he wasn't getting through to her. "Lets leave. Then I'll be happy."

Her eyes widened in shock. Leave? That was out of the question. "There is still one more angel to defeat."

Shinji shrugged his shoulders then corrected himself. "After we defeat it. Lets go."

She thought about what he was asking of her. He wanted her to live past her purpose. He wanted her not to fulfill her purpose. but the commander...(mentally growling) I am not a doll!. "Where.. would we go?"

He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders happily. He could tell that he was convincing her "Who cares... as long as were together!"

"You mean run away?"

He nodded. "Where no one can find us! Where we can live our *own* lives" He was getting excited with his plan to escape NERV and Tokyo-3. He tried before, but duty and the fear of being alone always brought him back. If he had someone to go with him, he knew he could leave this place for good. And who better than his own little sister. 

She tilted her head and considered his words. why would I want to do this? To live beyond my purpose? Then she saw him smile. A truly happy smile. Though she didn't have many memories of him, she had a feeling that he had never smiled like that before. it makes him happy to want to be with me?

He could see that she was weighing her options. "We won't ever be alone!" He said still trying to convince her. "Because we will be together!"

no longer alone?....without third impact? She looked at him.

He was truly excited by his idea. Never in his life did he wanted something so much. "I promise...I will never leave you."

She looked into his dark blue eyes. She saw truth in them. She nodded. "After the last angel is defeated we will runaway."

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I still don't own anything that deals with Evangelion. 


	2. two

Searching for Eden

Hand in hand, Shinji and Rei ran down a secret passage toward their freedom.

"They're all dead!" Shinji cried out. Never in his life did he expect for it to end like this.

Rei didn't respond. For she already knew what he said was true. She just quickened her pace as she lead him out. They were lucky that she knew the layout of NERV so well, But it wasn't until they made their plans to leave did she search for this exit. 

"Shinji, please.. hurry!" She yelled out. Never in her life had she spoken so loud. The yell wasn't very loud by anyone's standard, but it was loud for her. She could hear SEELE soldiers behind them and Shinji's sorrow was slowing them down. 

Shinji tried to hold back his tears and quicken his pace. He stared at the girl in front of him, leading the way. She looked so calm. Even after every thing they had been through, after everything she knew, and that death was running behind them with guns trying to kill them

A bullet passed over their heads. One of many.

"They see us!" Shinji yelled.

"Faster, Shinji!" She cried out and let go of his hand. "Turn that corner, then keep going straight until you get to a sign with an orange arrow. Touch it and a door will open. Wait for me in there!" She stopped running.

Shinji forced his momentum to stop and turned to face her. "What are doing?"

"I am.. going to protect you." She said as loudly as her voice would allow. "Now go, and do as I say!"

"No!" He cried out. His tears were streaming down his cheeks. " I will not leave you! We promised never to leave each other!" 

She turned her head and looked back; she could hear the soldiers closely approaching. "*I* promised that I will always protect you." She turned back to him. "Please trust me! I will return to you!"

He could tell by her eyes that she spoke the truth, but he was still reluctant to leave.

"Please Oniisan!" A tear trickled out her crimson eyes. She didn't want him to see her for what she was. She didn't want him to know she was an angel.

Reluctantly, he nodded and ran in the direction she commanded. 

She waited until he was out of sight then turned and faced the direction of her aggressors. Her eyes began to glow and a divine wind current swirled around her, fluttering her hair and dress. The very same instant her powers surfaced, the alarm announcing that an angel attack started to blare. Once the soldiers were in sight, her eyes narrowed. "I will not allow you to harm him."

~~~~~

Shinji covered his ears as he ran. The alarm was especially loud down there. He now knew why she wanted him to leave. I don't hate you for what you are imooto-chan, Please ..just be safe, He quickly found the hiding place, went in, and waited for her. 

He was surprised what he found inside. Two book bags. He opened them. One was filled with a few female clothes, a black wig and some MRE's The other was filled with a few male clothes. Two passports, one of him and one of Rei with a black wig on and tinted shades. There were two train tickets to a city he never heard of, and some more MRE's. In a side pocket, he found about 500 dollars worth in yin He closed them back up and smiled to himself. He felt more secure in her promise that she would return to him. He was also impressed. She said that she would handle things when it came to their escape, but he didn't think she would be *so* prepared. He sat down, tucked his knees against his chest and wrap his arms around them.

Although he tried not to think about it, tears streamed down his cheeks and ended up whispering a mantra that "They're all dead." 

About 20 minutes later he heard a light knock on the hideout door.

He felt his heart stop. He wasn't sure whether to open the door or not.

"Shinji! It's me!" Rei called out with a bit of an edge to her calm voice. "We must leave! Grab the provisions I stored in there!"

Quickly the boy complied and left the room. He handed her, her book bag. Allowing only a second to quickly put them on and they started running again. 

About 38 minutes later.

Rei grabbed his hand. "This way, Shinji!" 

They turned left and ten minutes later they arrived at a garage. She reached into a side pocket of her book bag, pulled out a set of keys, and ran toward a black Bentley. She clicked the alarm off and the doors opened.

As gently commanded "Get in, Shinji." as she quickly got into the drivers seat.

He got into the passenger's seat.

She smiled at him and started the ignition. "This is the commanders car. I don't think he will be needing it anymore."

He couldn't help but to smile back. 

"Put your seatbelt on." She commanded as she did the same. "I do not know how to drive."

He nodded in understanding. He didn't know how to drive either. He knew how to save the world and control a giant robot, but he had no idea how to drive and automobile. 

She pushed a button on the dashboard and the exit revealed itself. Slowly they drove out.

"Rei, shouldn't we be going faster?"

She shook her head no and concentrated on what she was doing.

The boy became frantic. "But they're going to catch us!"

"There is no one following us anymore, Shinji."

His mouth fell open in shock. They had to have been running away from at least thirty men.

She glanced at him despite the fact that she didn't want to. "I...I..am sorry"

He nodded for he couldn't speak. He wasn't angry at her...just shocked.

She returned to her task at hand. When they pulled out, they were nowhere near Tokyo-3. They were in what looked like, the country. He turned in his seat and watched the exit close and return to look like a grassy plain. 

"Where are we?" He panted out quizzically. He was out of breath from running so much.

"About 2 miles outside of the city." She admitted as she drove the car. Her hands were on ten and two and she was sitting forward in her seat for could barely see over the steering wheel. 

"How did we get so far out of the city, so quickly?" He panted out quizzically.

"Shinji, we were running for our lives for over two hours straight. We *ran* out of the city." Her brow furrowed as she increased their speed to the appropriate speed limit.

His adrenaline was still pumping hard. He didn't even realize how long he had been running.. He looked at his sister. She looked as calm as ever. "Rei"

She didn't answer.

But he knew he had her full attention. "Thank-you"

She smiled as she kept her eyes on the barren road. 

He sat back in the plush seats of the luxury car. "I thought we were going to take a train."

"We are." She admitted. "But the train station we are going to use is approximately two days away." 

"Why use one so far away?" He asked.

"It would be unsafe to use one any closer...." Her voice was as calm as ever. "If we were ever searched for...the closer station would be the first place they would use to track us down."

"You think that SEELE would search for us?" His tone expressed his fear then he noticed her clothes. Her whole left sided was bloodied. "Rei did you get shot?"

She glanced down at her arm then back to the road. She looked as if she just realized she was hurt. "Only twice." Considering how many bullets were shot at her, she did good.

However Shinji didn't see it that way. "Rei we've got to bandage up your wounds or you're going to bleed to death!"

She shook her head. "They were only flesh wounds."

"Then where did all the blood come from?" His stomach turned when he imagined it being someone else's "Its it someone else's?"

"No. It is mine." She admitted calmly. "I injured myself when I jumped out of the commanders jeep when he was taking me to central dogma."

"Oh.." He couldn't believe how nonchalantly she was talking about what looked like serious injuries. " Are you ok?"

"Yes" She stated simple "I have healed already." Her eyes widened after she made her confession. She didn't mean to say that.

He asked meekly "Is it because you are an angel?" 

She looked at him, surprised that he knew.

"Well" He gave her a sheepish expression "The only other person I know..." His demeanor became sad, as he corrected his wording "Knew...The only person I knew how looked similar to you was Kaworu... and he was an angel"

She nodded and looked back at he road.

A few tears trickled out was he thought about what he did to his friend. He wiped away his tears and continued ."And when the alarm went off... and you got rid of thirty armed men, without a weapon .." He forced himself to laugh "That kinda was a dead give away."

She nodded. No other reaction to his words.

However Shinji words made him sad. The saying 'dead give away' made him think about all his friend that had died. "They're all gone... they're dead, Rei"

She nodded. No other reaction to his words. 

He looked away from her. He didn't know how he expected her to react, but he didn't expect her to react as if she didn't care. It angered him; though, he refused to voice it. Instead he looked out the window and silently cried for his departed friends. 

After about 39 minutes, Rei spoke on the matter. 

"Shinji"

He didn't answer. He was upset with her.

She sighed and pulled over. He looked at her and was surprised to see the deep sadness in her eyes. He wiped away his own tears and embraced her.

"Rei... are you ok?"

"No." She simply stated. "I am sad, Shinji."

He held her tighter and cried onto her shoulder. He felt ashamed of himself for thinking that she didn't care. She did not cry, but she found comfort in him as he found comfort in her.

"It truly is just us now" He sobbed. 

She caressed his hair and gently wiped away his tears with the back of her hand. She didn't try to stop him from expressing his sorrow. She just comforted him. However she didn't expect him to cry so long. He cried about two hours before he fell asleep. Rei sighed heavily as she gently placed his head on his headrest. She pushed a button and reclined his chair so he could sleep peacefully. Luckily, they were not behind schedule. She started the car and thanked her intelligence for giving them about five hour leeway for situations such as this. She knew that she would have to drive the entire night if there were to avoid any road blocks from SEELE, the UN or NERV depending who won that war in headquarters. 

She glanced one more time at Shinji and smiled warmly. She had a feeling that even though she was the 'little sister' she was going to be taking care of him. At least for the first year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days later. 

Shinji drove into the small town of Tanaka. They had traded the Bentley for a car that wasn't so lavishly expensive. They got rid of it because they didn't need to draw any unnecessary attention to themselves. However, what surprised Shinji was that the location Rei drove to trade the car, was in the opposite direction of where they were headed. She said she did that because she wasn't going to chance being tracked or followed. 

Shinji looked at the girl who was sitting next to him. She didn't even look like the Rei he knew. She had on her shoulder length black wig. Which made her pale skin stand out even more. She also had on tinted glasses that eerily looked like his fathers. All in all .. she looked sickly. "What are we going to do with the car?"

"We will abandon it, Shinji" She stated calmly as she pointed to an almost empty parking lot. 

"What?" He couldn't believe she just said that. "We should at least try an sell it!" He slowly parked where she told him to.

"We cannot risk it."

"But the money..." He tried to convince her. 

She cut him off with a serious look. "Shinji, we cannot risk being remembered in this town." She held up her finger to hush him when she noticed him about to speak. "You are Ikari Shinji. The son of the commander of NERV. I am Ayanami Rei, Proof of Artificial Evolution. It is too much of a risk right now. Right now, all things that were *not* supposed to exist are being *erased* A few thousand yin is not worth out lives."

He paled and swallowed hard and nodded. 

By his reaction, she was satisfied that her point was made. She slightly shook her head and wondered how many times she was going to have to explain that to him. 

They made sure that they got everything that belonged to them. When all was clear, she repeated the same procedure she did when they traded in the Bentley. Rei put on rubber gloves and swabbed the entire car, inside and out, with alcohol wipes, ensuring that they left absolutely not trace of themselves. 

He didn't even bother to ask if that was really necessary. He didn't want to get the *speech* again. He wanted to think she was just paranoid, but he knew better. She was raised by his father, so she knew the rules of the *game* better than he ever would. He looked at his watch. 

"Rei, were going to miss the train if we don't leave now."

She ignored him and finished her task.

"Rei." He said adamantly. He was stressed that they were going to miss the train.

She assured calmly. "We have time, Shinji." She got out of the car and held her hand out to him. "Give me the keys."

He obeyed with out question. 

She wiped them off placed them on the drivers seat and closed the unlocked door. "Lets go."

His eyes tripled their size and he gestured wildly to what she just did.

"Someone will steal it." She assured, disregarding the true meaning of his gestures. 

He shook his head in disbelief. It wasn't worth arguing about. He wasn't going to win. He learned that these past to days. He learned a lot of things about Rei these past two days. He learned that she wasn't shy like he had always thought. He found out the reason she didn't speak was because she was *selective* to whom she spoke to. He also learned that she was incredibly smart and street savvy. She informed him that she wasn't given back all her memories in her soul transfer. However, his father allowed her to have all her intelligence and the knowledge of everything that dealt with NERV, but he deemed all other memories unnecessary for his plan. But one thing that was confirmed during this trip was that Rei was completely ethereal. Her movements were fluid and beautifully gentle. Never in his life had he ever met someone who appeared to so fragile. It made him feel like he needed to protect her and take care of her; even though, she was quite possibly the strongest (not physically) person he had ever met in his entire life. 

Rei noticed her brother looking at her again as she put on a baseball cap that covered the top portion of her face down to her tinted glasses. "What are you looking at?" She inquired. 

Shinji blushed heavily and shook his head and sheepishly lied. "N..n..nothing" 

She gave no response as she picked up her book bag and walked in the direction of the train station.

Shinji walked behind her. To him, she looked so weird with regular blue jeans and a tee-shirt and windbreaker on. And the black hair... He shook his head. She did not look like the Ayanami Rei he knew. But then again .... that was the point.

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I still don't own anything that deal with Evangelion. 


	3. three

Searching for Eden

When the two teens got to the loading dock of the train station they saw police at every train door entrance.

Shinji walked closer to Rei and whispered in her ear. "Do you think they're looking for us?"

Rei watched the uniformed men. She was trying to narrow down and identify the description of the people that were stopping. Couples... they were stopping male and female couples. But older couples. She answered her brother "No they are not looking for us."

"Are you sure?" His fear was audible. 

"No." She admitted. One thing she learned in NERV was nothing was what it appeared to be. "But the percentage of me being correct is higher than me being wrong."

He nodded and relaxed for he trusted her judgment.

The two teens stood in the line to get on the train until it was their turn to be inspected.

"Kazoku Wakaba?" The police man at the entrance asked after he looked that the passport.

Rei nodded. 

He looked to the male pilot. "Kazoku Miki?"

"Hai" Shinji gave a sheepish grin.

"Are you two married?"

"We are twins." Shinji informed and placed cheek against Rei's and smiled. Rei failed to follow up with a smile after his answer. But it didn't matter, Shinji gave a big enough grin for both of them.

"Oh yeah...I see it now." The policeman looked away from them, and compared the two passports. "Sept 13, 2000" He looked up at them. "So you're fifteen ne?"

They nodded in synch. 

"Are you visiting family in Hakone?" The policeman asked with mock interest.

Shinji shook his head no. 

"Then why go?" The man narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the boy.

Shinji looked at Rei then back to the cop. "Because they have better hospitals."

Rei eyes widened and she looked up at her brother. I do not look sickly!

The cop looked at Rei and nodded solemnly. He judged her by her extremely pale appearance and her gentle movements that she must deathly ill. He looked back at Shinji and gave him their passports. "You take care you your sister, you hear."

Shinji gave the cop a mock brave face. "I will sir." He and grabbed Rei's hand and walked into the train.

Rei allowed herself to be led. 

Once they were away from the police the third child let out a sigh of relief. "Where are our seats?" He asked Rei as he searched for their number and bustled through the crowded train. 

"I got us a private cabin." She answered in he usual monotone voice.

"Oh" He put a tighter grip on her hand, so they wouldn't become separated. The train was packed with people. 

Rei skillfully made her way through the narrow passages that were blocked by people; even though, Shinji was practically dragging and crashing her into everybody. He was so worried about not becoming separated that he didn't notice what he was doing to her. Luckily, for Rei, it wasn't long before they reached their cabin. When he opened the door, he noticed two opposing couches. Shinji sat right down and relaxed. Rei locked the door behind them and closed the shade on the door so no one could see inside. She then took off her glasses and wig.

Shinji softly chuckled as he looked at her in the brown stocking cap that held back her real hair.

Rei smiled at him as she sat on the opposing couch It was good to see him laugh. He had been crying for the past two days. She didn't realize until now that the body could release so much fluid without dehydrating. Shinji had stopped crying only a few hours ago. That's when she allowed him to help her drive. She needed the break, for she was completely exhausted. Unfortunately, she didn't get any rest because Shinji was a horrible driver. She actually felt safer at NERV during the 'war,' than in the car with Shinji driving. 

He looked at her and chuckled. "I know what your thinking Imooto-chan, And I don't drive that bad."

"And I don't look sickly" She said with heart felt conviction. She was still a bit offended by what he said of the cop.

That made him laugh out loud and he mouthed _whatever._

Her eyes widened in shock. He sure was acting rudely comfortable around her now. Almost like.. a brother. She gave him a warm smile then yawned. Despite the fact that she wanted to spend time with him, in his now pleasant mood, Rei was tired. To tired to hold a polite conversation. She stood up and pressed the button that released the bed from the wall. 

"I think I will rest now." She stated with a yawn. 

The bed only came out halfway. She grabbed it and tugged on it, but it wouldn't budge. 

Shinji noticed her struggling, and got up to help her. They way she was pulling on it, he thought it was jammed. So when he pulled it and it came right out, he was very surprised.

"Thank you oniisan" Rei said as she crawled up into the bed.

"I didn't do anything, You're the one who worked it out" Shinji admitted.

Rei looked away from him and admitted. "I could not get it out...I was not strong enough."

"Suuuure..." Shinji teased. "You just want to make me feel good"

She didn't respond. Instead she laid her head down and closed her eyes. She was sleep before Shinji made it back to his seat.

For about 15 minutes Shinji watched Rei sleep. He felt bad for making her do the bulk of the driving these past two days. He felt bad for making her have to be the strong one when it should have been him. He was the oldest. He was the male. He was her big brother, but it was she who took care of him. She comforted him, and she was the one who made sure they got here safely. It was his idea to run away but *she* was making sure everything went according to plan. He already felt like a failure. 

During the trip he had expected her to tell him to stop crying and suck it up like a man, but she didn't. Rei wasn't like anyone he had ever met. Actually she has always been different from anyone he had ever met. But even he didn't expect her to be as kind and patient as she was. She allowed him to cry and work out his sorrow, with out being ashamed of it. And when he looked at her to make sure he wasn't bothering her, She always gave him one of her beatific smiles that told him it was alright and that it was going to be ok. There was no pity in her eyes. Just concern and.... love? Yes, there was love in her eyes. They had already developed that bond. A bond that seemed to grow stronger with every passing second. Shinji wasn't sure if it was just he who felt that way, or if they felt that way because they were all they had. Whatever it was, he knew he needed her and she needed him and that it was *his* turn to protect and take care of her. 

The male pilot decided to rest as well. Because of all the stops., the train ride was going to be a three-day journey. But moreover, he was tired too. He wasn't up the whole time like Rei, but he wasn't rested. To much sorrow, regret, and guilt plagued his heart, and disrupted his slumber. 

Shinji stood up and pressed the button to let out his bed. He got in, just as the train started to move, yawned once, and fell a sleep. It wasn't long before his nightmare began.

__

"You let me die!!"

Shinji was in a void of darkness. But the voice that yelled at him was painfully familiar.

"Anta Baka you saved the doll and let ME die!"

"No I wanted to save you too! " Shinji cried out. "I was just too late!"

"But not too late to save Wonder girl!!"

"Don't call her that!" He said defensively into the darkness.

"I'll call her what I damn well please!!" As an aberration the second child appeared in front of the boy. "You know why, Baka?!" Bloodied gashes appeared on her face and body.

He didn't answered. He was too afraid.

"Because I'm DEAD!" A huge cut appeared on her neck. "I'M DEAD AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" Blood started pouring from the wound. "I'M DEAD BECAUSE YOU CHOSE TO SAVE WONDER GIRL INSTEAD OF ME!!!" Her head fell limply to the right side and right when Asuka's head completely separated from her body Shinji...

Woke up screaming.

He sat straight up, cupped his face in his hands and cried.

Rei had woken up when her brother screamed. She was going to ask him if he was alright, but she could tell by observing his actions that he wasn't. She wanted to help him, but she didn't know how. So she stayed in her bed and silently watched him cry. 

Shinji cried for about twenty minutes before he glanced over to Rei.

The first child quickly closed her eyes when he stared at her. She didn't know why, but something in her told her that he no longer wanted her to see him cry. He wanted to be strong for her, or at least appear to be strong. So for him, she pretended to be asleep. 

Shinji wiped away his tears and looked over at Rei. She looked so peaceful as she slept. He wished that he could rest too, without being haunted by Asuka's ghost. He wished that he could be strong like Rei instead of the weak little boy he was. He was just great full that she didn't wake up and see once again how weak he really was. He watched her sleep for about 5 minutes before he got up and walked over to her side of the cabin. He needed to be closer to her. He found strength when he was close to her. He bent at the waist and rested his head beside hers, so close that he was able breath the same air she just breathed. It was calming to him. It made him feel whole, the taking into himself, something that was once hers. Her sweet breath became the air the that kept him alive. Being so near to her, he quickly found a peace of mind and became tired once again.

Instead of going back to his bed, he inched himself under her bed and laid on the couch. He barely had enough room to fit under there. Actually, he didn't have enough room, but he didn't want to be alone. No, that wasn't true, he didn't want to be that far away from her.

Rei opened her eyes when Shinji squeezed himself under her bed. She didn't like the fact that he was under there. It was too dangerous; he could be seriously injured if the bed shifted or lowered itself even an inch. So moving as little as possible, so she wouldn't shake the bed and hurt him she called out "Shinji"

"Ummm.... Yes Rei?" Came a muffled reply. 

She paused before she continued. She didn't want to make him feel ...she wasn't sure, for she wasn't familiar with emotions. However, she knew that he wanted her to need him. Something that she did anyway, so she didn't mind letting him know. She nodded at her decision and spoke the words she knew he wanted to hear. "I need you, Shinji."

He perked up and hit his forehead on the bottom of her bed.

"Are you ok?" She asked in a worried tone. 

"Yes" He quickly answered and inched himself from under her bed. When he was out he faced and asked "You *need* me?"

She nodded and scooted toward the wall and patted her bed. 

He understood the unspoken command, but was hesitant to comply. "Are you sure?"

She nodded again. "I am not sleeping well... I believe if you ..." She blushed. "Sleep with me..."

He blushed too.

She continued. "I will rest more peacefully." 

It wasn't exactly a lie. She wasn't sleeping well. Shinji had been thrashing ever since he fell asleep. His moans and whimpers were keeping her awake. And since *he* felt like he could only sleep if he was close the her ,then that was the only that *she* would get any sleep. In her opinion, to share a bed was the only logical choice for either of them to get any rest..

Shinji didn't bother asking her for a second time. He quickly climbed in her bed and laid down. Like his bed, it was extremely small. Even smaller than a twin. He tried to scoot close to the edge, so he wouldn't crowd her. 

Rei grabbed his arm, tugged him close to her and made him scoot back to the middle of the bed.. "You will fall off the bed and injure yourself if you sleep that close to the edge."

He didn't try to talk her out of allowing him to be close to her. However, he did turn beet red and went completely stiff when she pressed herself against him and rested her head on his chest. He could swear that for about two minutes, he didn't breath.

Rei took note to his disposition and assured. "This is the only way we both can fit." She wasn't lying . Not only was she pressed against him, she was pressed against the wall as well. She lifted her head and continued. "But if this bothers you...." She started to get up.

"No" Shinji said in a forced whisper. It was hard for him to get his mouth to comply with his brains command. Then he surprised himself when he wrapped his arms around her slender waist and pleaded. "Please don't leave... me." 

She laid her head back on his chest. "I will not leave you, Shinji." 

"Do you promise?" He choked out as he stifled his tears. He didn't want to cry in front of her. He *wanted* to be strong. But he knew that he wasn't strong, but *she* gave him strength. It was a strength that he was now dependent on, so he needed to know. "Do you promise never to leave me?"

Rei could hear the need in his voice. So she quickly gave him her honest answer. "Yes, I promise."

"Forever?" He sobbed out despite himself.

She looked up at him and gingerly wipe the tears from his eyes and answered "Yes, forever. I promise that we will be together forever."

He gave her a smile that conveyed devotion and complete trust that her words were true. "I promise never to leave you too, Rei-chan." He held onto her tighter as if she were his life preserver and he was about to drown. "Forever. Together forever."

She nodded in agreement and wrapped her arm around his waist. "Yes, together forever."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still don't own any thing that deals with Evangelion 


	4. four

Searching for Eden

The train screamed to a halt, making all the passengers jerk forward then back. It was one of many stops the train was going to make on their journey.

Shinji quickly grabbed the side of the bed, to ensure that he and Rei didn't fall off. He lifted his head slightly and looked at his sister. She was still asleep. He smiled and wrapped his arm back around her waist. 

The pilot laid his head back on the pillow and stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling of the train cabin, and listened to the people bustle outside the door. They were so loud, he was afraid that they would wake up Rei. He didn't want her to wake up; he liked the way she felt in his arms. It was comforting. It felt right.

Rei moved in her sleep. The third child stayed as still as possible, so his movements wouldn't wake her. Fortunately for him, the first child was just making herself more comfortable. She draped her leg over his, and snuggled closer to him. Now she was practically laying completely on top of him. 

When she stopped moving, the pilot lifted his head and looked at her again. Her light blue hair laid in disarray on serene face. He smiled warmly. To him. she looked like the goddess of mercy as she laid comfortably on top of him. Every-so-slowly, he released her waist and brought his hand up to brush her angel fine hair off her face. He wanted to get a better look at her. When his fingertips caressed her cheek, she gently batted his hand away, and shifted her weight on top of him. Her leg was now pressed against a certain appendage of his. Needless to say Shinji's, brain cut off. 

He inwardly moaned and looked away. The pilot could feel his body reacting to her unconscious pressure. Slowly, he used his hand and tried to push her leg off him, but that just made her press herself against him more. 

"Ahhh" a pleasure moan escaped his lips before he could stop it. He quickly looked at her and hoped that she didn't hear him. 

She didn't. Her head was tilted up, so he could see her face. Her pouty lips were slightly open in an 'O' shape. 

He sighed, looked away from her, and wished she wasn't so beautiful. It would make things so much easier if she wasn't so beautiful. He took a deep breath and tried to remind himself that she was his *sister* and that he shouldn't still feel the same about her anymore. He tried to forget that he was *in love* with her before she died, for him, and before he found out that they their genetically related. Now, he had to resolve to only having love for her. A brotherly love. The pilot swallowed hard and shook his head; he wasn't sure if he could keep his feelings for her on that type of platonic level. 

He returned his gaze to her and at her perfectly shaped, slightly ajar, lips. gawd I want to kiss you so bad He shook that desire out of his head, and started to scoot from under her. As much as he wanted to stay, he had to get away from her before he did something... bad.

Rei mumbled when she felt her brother slightly lift her up and lay her back on the bed. Her eyes fluttered open and she noticed him get back into his bed.

"Oniisan?"

Shinji froze, then slowly turned around to look at her. "Yes, imooto-chan?"

She noticed the guilty expression on his face. "Are you ok?"

He nodded sheepishly 

She accepted his answer as truth, nodded, closed her eyes and returned to her slumber. 

Shinji let out a relieved breath. He was glad that she didn't question him about getting out of her bed. He quickly crawled under his covers and made himself comfortable. He hated to do this; he didn't want to do this, but because of their closeness, he now had some business to take care of.

~~~~

Rei immediately missed the feel and the warmth of Shinji beside her. To her, it felt right being together in that way. Perfect. Now she felt a sense of loneliness that she had never experienced before. She wanted him to return to her. She was going to tell him so. When her eyes fluttered open.. she lost her nerve, and silently gazed at her brother instead. After about a minute, she wondered if he was having another nightmare. His breathing seem ragged, his face seemed very intense, and he seemed to be thrashing under his sheets. 

When his head tilted back and a small cry escaped his lips, she called out "Shinji..."

His head wiped in her direction. He was completely horrified that he was caught in his stealthy act. 

"Are you ok?" She asked innocently.

"....."

Because of his respond or lack there of, she became worried about her oniisan. She quickly hopped off her bed, crossed the small cabin, and attempted to get into is bed to comfort him.

He scooted away from her in complete terror. He couldn't have her come into his bed NOW! "No... please don't...." He cried out in a guilty whisper.

She was taken back by response to her, and looked completely hurt by what he just said. She nodded and turned around to go back into her own bed.

Shinji cursed himself and his hormones as he stuffed his member back into his pants. He called out just as he zipped his pants. "Rei... I'm sorry."

She did not bother to face him. "It is alright." She got back into her bed and laid down with her back facing him.

Tears swelled in the male pilots eyes. He could tell that he hurt her. He hurt her when all she was trying to do was comfort him. "I really am sorry....Imooto-chan" 

She nodded without facing him. She couldn't bare to face him because she thought that she did something wrong. She wasn't sure what she did, but she assumed that she did something wrong or he wouldn't have gotten out of her bed or refused to let her in his. 

Shinji laid back down and silently cried into his pillow. I'm always hurting people who care for me...I'm sooo sorry Rei... He didn't know what was wrong with him. He only knew that he was a *pervert* just like Asuka always said he was. This wasn't the first time he had masturbated in front of one of his fellow pilots. He did it over Asuka, when she was in her comma... His sobs became more vocal as he remembered what a piece of scum he was.. and still is. and now I did it because I got turned on by my little sister. Needless to say, he hated himself right about now. 

Rei heard her brother crying, but she didn't try to comfort him this time. She didn't want to be rejected again. She wasn't sure if she could handle it. So instead, she forced herself to go to sleep. Unlike Shinji, didn't have a problems with nightmares, for the mere fact that she didn't dream. It was not that she couldn't; she just chose not to. However, this night Rei was going to experience something much worse than any nightmare. 

__

Rei found herself sitting in the jeep beside the commander. He was taking her to central dogma. He was telling her to release her AT field, for she would no longer need it.

What she was experiencing was not a dream it was ...

a memory.... she told herself. why am I remembering this.... against my will..?

"BECAUSE IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU KNOW"

Rei covered her ears. The boisterous semi-familiar voice was deafening. She looked over at he commander in the jeep. He seemed unaffected as he continued to drive them to their destination. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji was still crying as he watched Rei sleep. He quirked a brow when he notice her cover her ears and furrow her brow as if she was in pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

__

Rei then found herself no longer a participant to this memory. She was now an observer. She watched herself jump out of the jeep. She saw herself fall and roll into shard metal injuring her left side.

The commander quickly pressed the brakes and got out of the car.

"What are you doing, Rei?" He asked with an angry urgency.

"I.." She slowly and painfully got up and groaned out. "I...am not a doll." 

He_ was taken back by her declaration. "I never said you were."_

For a moment she was confused. She knew that she felt anger towards the man and the word *doll* associated with him, angered her tremendously... But if he didn't think she was a doll, then why was she angry.... She didn't know. She didn't have enough memories to know.

He held his hand out to her. "Come Rei, lets go before it is too late!"

She looked at him. He gave her a warm smile and she could feel herself smiling back. She nodded then shook her head when she remembered the promise she made to Shinji. They were supposed to runaway; they were supposed to be together.. 

"I don't want that destiny... I want to live." The first child announced and backed away from the man. "If I am not your doll.... let me go."

Gendo narrowed his eyes and shook his head no. "You have a purpose Rei, and you are going to fulfill it."

"I have a new purpose." The first child informed as she continued to back away from him. 

He shook his head no and took out his gun. The same gun he killed Ritsuko with. "I created you. Your purpose is what *I* say it is. " He could hear the SEELE soldiers closing in on them, they were running out of time.

"I am not your doll!" Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "My life is my own!" 

"Your life is *mine* to do with what I please!" He cocked is gun. "Now come along Rei, before you make me hurt you." 

She stood her ground, and her eyes narrowed. She was now remembering why she was so angry. H e was right, she wasn't his doll. She was worse than a doll. She was his puppet! 

He angled his gun so that the shot she received wouldn't be fatal. He needed her to be alive for the third impact to occur. He only needed to injure her enough to incapacitate her newly discovered back bone, so that he could get her back into the jeep and down to central dogma.

~bang~

What the commander didn't count on was Rei's power's surfacing. Before the bullet could pierce through her body, her AT field surfaced and she caught it in her small delicate hand. 

The commander was *not* expecting her to do that. His eyes widened in fear and he slowly started backing away from her. Terrified, he shot his gun at her again, and again, and again, until he actually emptied his round. Each attempt to harm her was futile, for the bullets were stopped by her AT field. 

On her face graced a frown that surpassed even his. "I_am_ not _ your_doll!" She was pissed. BEYOND pissed. He just tried to kill her!

The commander backed up in complete terror. In her eyes, he saw the fury of the mythical Lillith. He saw the reason they had chosen Rei to be heart of the dummy plug system. 

The first child held the bullet, she caught, in between her first and second finger, and said in a calm sadistic tone. "We will never be your doll again!" And with a flick of the wrist, and aided by her AT field, she threw the bullet back at the commander.

The bullet hit the commander on the upper portion of his face. It went clean through his forehead, killing him instantly. 

"Never again..." She whispered without remorse as she turned and ran. She had to go and meet Shinji at the secret meeting place so that they could truly be free. 

Rei watched the whole seen play out. I....did.. that...? Rei couldn't believe what she just did. She didn't remember doing that. She only remembered jumping out of the jeep. She remembered being injured and she remembered meeting up with Shinji...She didn't remember killing Shinji's father.. her guardian...her commander and chief I wanted... to be free....I didn't mean to kill..him...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji noticed Rei begin to cry in her sleep. This was the first time he had ever seen her cry. He felt bad, for he blamed himself for her sorrow. Slowly he got off his bed and made his way over to her bed.

While still crying, Rei had broken into a cold sweat and grabbed her ears as if she was in pain again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

__

"MURDER!" The voice yelled. 

no the first child sobbed. I.... didn't... mean ....to do it

"**MURDER**!" It yelled louder.

I...am.. sorry...

"SORRY WON'T BRING ME BACK, REI!!"

"....." 

"I RAISED YOU! I GAVE YOU LIFE!! I CARED FOR YOU MORE THEN MY OWN SON!!! AND YOU KILLED ME!!"

I... am...sorry

A menacing laughter rang in her ears then the commander said "THAT IS OK BECAUSE YOU WILL MAKE IT UP TO ME!"

The first child did not respond. She had no idea what he was talking about. 

He knew this and clarified. "YOUR PURPOSE.... YOU WILL FULFILL IT!"

the third impact... no.. I will not initiate it. After her words, she could swear that she felt him smirk, right before he said.

"YES_YOU WILL!" He started to laugh again. "I WILL MAKE SURE OF IT!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Rei shot up into a sitting position on her bed. She was still crying and her breathing was ragged. The first thing she saw was a very worried Shinji looking at her. He looked as if he wanted to comfort her, but was too ashamed to even try. 

Shinji looked at his sisters tear streaked face. I'm so sorry Rei-chan He was still blaming himself for her disposition. 

She held her hand out to him. She needed him. She needed comfort. 

With a slight hesitation, the third child took her tiny hand in his and crawled back into her bed. He whispered "I'm sorry Rei-chan" in her ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He then wrapped his arms around her waist and they both laid down.

She nodded absently to his apology. 

They both laid side by side on the bed for about 10 minutes. Then Rei shifted her weight, straddled his waist and positioned herself directly on top of him.

His eyes quadrupled their size. "Uhh... Rei..?" He could feel his hormones acting up again.

In a sobbed whisper, Rei asked pleadingly. "Please... please just hold me..."

Shinji looked at her beautiful melancholy face. He had never seen her look so sad.... so.. scared? He took a deep breath to control his natural male urges, nodded, and tightened his embrace around her slender waist. It was his turn to take care of her and he'd be damned if he failed her again. 

She held onto him tighter too. She needed to be as close to him as possible. She needed to feel protected and safe... and not alone. Luckily, she found that type of security in Shinji. And now more than ever, she needed it, for she was terrified, no she was petrified because she knew that what she just woke up from was not a dream... it was an omen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still don't own anything that deals with Evangelion. 

^_^ Hi I just wanted to make sure that everyone reading this fic understands...ummm. ^_^ that this *is* going to be a romance between Rei and Shinji, but not right off. I have some things to cover first. And I promise I will explain what happened at NERV as the memories of the two pilots. And thanks everyone for your reviews. They mean a lot to me. I was afraid to post this fic, because they way I'm writing it, is really taboo. ^_~ This fic is not a happy go lucky fic like ..So Happy Together... it's not what I consider dark..but it's not the WAFFY kind of romance either. It more of an utterly devoted kind of love between the two pilots. But like my other fic.. if you like Rei and Shinji, you can expect to get a lot of them in this fic. ^__^

oh and one more thing... I know I used the Shinji masturbating scene in my other fic too but you know why? Because he did it on the series! And I think it tell a lot about his character.. ^_~ Well, it tells a lot about his character in *this* fic.. I needed it for character development... you'll see... if you decided to continue to read this. 

Thank you for reading. 

I love ya lots I really really do 

Kimberly


	5. soo sad

Hello every one ^_^ 

First I'd like to tell everyone that I love that you like my fic so much. I love writing it! I really really do! So much in fact that I think I burnt out my computer. It hardly works anymore. I'll write when I can, but (shakes head and wipes away tears) It keeps freezing on me and doesn't want to respond. It sucks because I just bought to cursed machine!! GRRR 

My friend Victor said that it just got too hot... We thought it would get better, but it seems only to be getting worse. You have no idea how sad I am... I feel like crying!!

Anyways, I wanted everyone to know... just incase you don't see any updates from me again.

Kimberly


	6. five

Searching for Eden

Shinji woke up to a knocking at the door.

"Dinner will be served in 15 minutes!" Then the unknown person walked away.

Shinji could hear the muffled sounds of the voice repeating the information to the next cabin. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he looked down at his sister who was still resting peacefully on top of him. He smiled at the fact that he succeeded in comforting her, and that she was still at peace. It took about an hour to calm her down, whatever she dreamt about really shook her up. The pilot was torn from waking her up so they could eat, or to let her sleep since she was resting peacefully. 

After about a minute, he decided. Shinji tightened his embrace around her waist, closed his eyes and attempted to go back to sleep. Rei wasn't the only one was comforted by their closeness; never in his life had he slept so comfortably.

He mentally confirmed his decision food can wait until tomorrow 

Unfortunately for the two pilots, fate had other plans. About 35 minutes later

~BAM~

and then a child's giggle. 

Rei eyes shot open and she sat straight up, straddling Shinji's waist. 

"It was just some kid banging on the door" Shinji assured in a sleepy shocked whisper. He could hear the kid continue to bang on the other cabin doors in a similar fashion.

Rei just sat there in sleepy shock. Slowly her eyes focused on Shinji, and she nodded. She saw him gesture for her to lay back down, but with a sleepy shake of the head she said no, and got up and off the bed. 

The third child successfully hid his disappointment. "Did you get enough sleep?"

She answered honestly and shook her head no, as she groggily looked for her black wig.

Shinji perched himself on his elbow. "Then why don't you come back to bed?"

"Hungry." She whispered out. 

He nodded and sat on the edge of her bed. "Me too." He really was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji sat across from Rei in the dinning room. Dinner was almost over. Rei had decided it would be best if they were the one of the last to be served. and now they were the last to in the dining room.

To save money, Rei only got water, but she allowed Shinji to get a soda. And since it was more economical than just buying a salad and rice, she ordered a full meal and gave the food she couldn't eat to her Shinji. Shinji in turn gave her his rice and salad. 

The waiter came to refill their drinks again and asked "Is there any thing else I can get for you this evening?" 

Rei shook her head no. Shinji only responded by narrowing his eyes at the male waiter. Normally he wouldn't be so rude, but he didn't like the way the man kept staring at her every time he came to the table. Rei was all he had left in the world; he felt overly protective of her. 

"Just ignore him, oniisan." Rei gently commanded in a soft tone, after the waiter walked away.

The boy looked quizzically at her. "Why does he keep looking at you like that?"

Rei took a sip of her water. "Because I look odd to him."

Shinji's gaze whipped from her to the man. 

Rei continued. "Do not worry about it, for I am used to such reactions to my appearance."

The third child was taken back by the casualness of her words. And then as if for the first time, he looked at her, as she drank her water. She did look odd. The black wig she was wearing was really too dark for her alabaster skin, making her look even more pale, sickly even. And the tinted glasses made her seem cold and unapproachable. But her extremely ethereal movements made her seem as fragile as a proclin doll. However all those things were surpassed by her face. Even behind the tinted glasses and framed in that dark wig, her face was completely beautiful, angelic and innocent.

Rei looked up over the rim of her glass of water and inquired for the tenth time. "What are you looking at?" It seemed since they started this journey Shinji was always staring at her.

"The boy blushed "Umm..nothing"

Rei took a deep breath and accepted his answer. She knew that he was lying, but it wasn't worth commenting about. "Are you finished?"

Shinji nodded and picked up the Styrofoam containers that held their leftovers and got out of his seat. When Rei started to get out of her chair, she felt woozy and fell back into her seat.

Shinji spun on his heals "Are you ok?"

In a gentle movement, Rei raked her hand over her face and nodded. 

The boy's brow furrowed. He didn't believe her. "Are you sure, Rei?"

"Wakaba" Rei weakly corrected. "We are in pubic, remember?"

"Gomen" Shinji put the containers on the table and kneeled in front of his sister. She was looking paler than usual. "Are you sure you're ok?"

She gave him a brave smile and nodded. However, she felt terrible, as if something was trying to steal her..... Rei's brow furrowed, and she grabbed her ears as if someone was screaming in her ears

__

"FIRST CHILDREN!! COME!! YOU OWE ME!!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji was absolutely distressed. He didn't know what was wrong with her. Because of his fear, he forgot her command and called out "Rei! Please tell me what wrong!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She didn't answer. She was too busy with her internal battle. Whoever was calling her, was trying to steal her life force. It sounded like the commander, but it didn't sound like him. 

__

Leave me alone! She mentally cried out

"I WILL, AS SOON AS YOU COME TO ME!!!"

please... leave me alone

"NO! YOU MUST COME! YOU WILL COME"

__

Rei could feel her soul being pulled from her body. She verbally cried out. "NO!" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji was taken back by her scream and he let her go, He wasn't sure if she was talking to him.

With tears streaming out her eyes, Rei looked down at her travel companion. "Please..." She whimpered out "Help me get to our cabin..." She felt completely weak. She could feel whatever entity the commander had become, was still trying to capture her soul.

Shinji nodded and wrapped his arm around her waist, brought one of her arms to rest over his shoulders, and held onto her wrist. Ever-so-slowly, they started walking out of her dinning area. Unfortunately, they didn't get far.

As Rei walked beside Shinji, she became overwhelmed with lethargy and could no longer fight off the force that was trying to steal her soul.

Shinji eyes swelled up with tears exactly when he felt and realized that she could no longer carry her own weight. "Please...Rei. just.." He started to cry. "Please don't leave me... please don't die.."

Rei looked at him, her tears where streaming out of he eyes. She was trying to honor his wish, but she could no longer hold on to her soul. "Oniisan..." Was all she was able to call out before she fell to her knees and fainted. 

"REEEEEIIIIII!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

__

When her eyes closed in her body, instantly her soul's eyes open up in a blinding white abyss. She didn't know why but she felt safe. As if the force that took her from her body could not reach her here. 

where am I?

"Safe" answered a gentle whisper.

who are you? Rei did not fear this this voice, unlike the fear she experience when listening to the commanders. This voice was comforting .. as if it were the home she never had, yet always new always knew she did.

"_I am you._"

no. I am me. who are you?

"I am alpha.. I am the beginning and the mother of the lillium...I am what you once were."

Rei did not respond.

"You are omega... you are end of the lillium...."

__

Rei did not respond.

The voice however continued. "Together we are Lillith" 

no. I am Ayanami Rei

Lillith's laughter rang out in the abyss. It wasn't cruel, it was amused. "Then you may stay Ayanami Rei..."

The first child did not respond; she not believe the voice.

An_d the voice laughed even more joyously. "Apprehensive, little one?.. good you should be..."_

what do you want with me? Rei asked cautiously.

"I want you to stay away from Adam"

who is Adam?

"He is the death of the lilium"

I though you said I was omega.. I was the end

"Yes, you are the end of the lillium... he is the death... Stay away from him."

who is Adam? Rei asked again.

The scenery change into NERV.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji was on his knees crying over the lifeless body of his sister.

"You promised!!" He screamed. "You promised we would be together forever!!!"

The train's head conductor tried to pull Shinji back away from Rei, but was unsuccessful. The third child grabbed onto the first and held onto her as if she was his life preserver and he was about to drown.

"Please, young man.." The older man pleaded sympathetically. "We need to get a doctor to her.""

Shinji shook his head and cried into the crook of Rei's neck. He already knew what the doctor would say. Rei was dead! She had stopped breathing ten minutes ago. She had no pulse, no heart beat. She was DEAD!

"Please..uhh" He looked over at his second in command and pleaded with his eyebrows for help. 

"His name is Miki ..." The young man whispered. "Kazoku Miki, and his sister's name was Wakaba." The young man sighed dejectedly as he stared a the lifeless young girl that was held in the tight embrace of her brother.

The older man placed a compassionate grasp on Shinji's shoulder. "Miki.... please, Dr.Nomu maybe able to help Wakaba."

"Please .." Shinji weakly sobbed out to the conductor. "Please... just leave us... please just leave us alone.." He shook his head no at his choice of words then correct his mistake "Together.."

"Kazoku-kun"

Shinji froze and looked up to the owner of that cold ,sharp voice. It sounded so much like the way his father spoke. 

The owner of that voice belong to the doctor. "You need to move, so I can see if I can help her."

As if he were conditioned to obey that voice, Shinji reluctantly and gently laid Rei on the floor and backed away.

The doctor placed his black medical bag beside the fallen angel, and pulled out his stethoscope. Next he took the tinted glasses off of Rei's face. He wanted to see if her eyes were dilated. He recoiled back when he saw her eyes. As so did the first and second conductor's of the train. They were *not* expecting Rei to have glazed over *red eyes*. Blood red eyes. 

Shinji cried even harder when he saw how lifeless her eyes were. Rei was not a person that expressed emotion, but her eyes always mirrored how she felt inside. Unfortunately, how she felt was always sad. Her crimson eyes always looked so sad. As if she had the unfortunate opportunity to view her own death. To know about an inevitable future and there was no way of changing it. However, of late, Shinji had noticed that her look of sorrow was gone and her eyes now showed a glimmer of anticipation and excitement about what was to happen next. But now that was gone. Forever.

The doctor turned to look at the boy then looked back at Rei. "What is she to you again?" He observed her pale skin, and of course, her eyes.

"My..." The pilot could barely make out the words through his hiccups. "My..sister.. my twin sister..." 

The doctor looked back at the crying boy and grabbed his chin to see his face. Shinji hit his hand away and reburied his face in his hands and cried. The doctor looked back at the first child and nodded. He was satisfied at their facial similarities. 

"What was wrong with her?" Dr Nomu asked the third child coldly. "What type of illness was she suffering from?"

"She wasn't ill!!!" Shinji cried out. "She must have been poisoned by the food we just ate!!" The pilot cried harder.

"Of course she was ill. " The head conductor assured. He didn't want to be sued or accused of killing a perfectly healthy girl. "Just look at her!" He gestured to Rei with his hand.

Shinji eyes whipped up to the man and he gave him a cold, angry expression that rivaled is father's. "She's albino! Not sick!"

The doctor turned his gaze away from the angry teen, and looked back at the girl. "I guess that would explain her odd color eyebrows and eyelashes." He looked closer. "What are they... blue?" He started to reach for her wig.

"They're not odd!" Shinji cried out defensively, pushed the doctor aside before he could touch her wig, and embraced Rei again. "Please.. come back... you promised... never to leave me..." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

__

As an observing spirit, Rei stood over the lifeless body of the commander. He was laying on his back. His trademark glasses had falling off his face. But in death, he looked like he had acquired a sense of peace he could never grasp in life.

I killed him she admitted solemnly.

"He was already dead" Lillith assured.

I do not understand?

"Watch" 

Rei continued to observe the lifeless body of the commander. Then she heard it

~thump thump~

~thump thump~

Blood squirted out of the bullet wound.

~thump thump~

A few seconds later, the bullet dislodged itself and fell to the floor. 

Rei stepped back in fear.

~thump thump~

The commander's body twitched.

"Time to leave Ayanami Rei" Lillith whispered

Rei nodded in agreement. 

"NO! NOT THIS TIME!" The commander's voice roared and his eyes snapped open, revealing to red orbs that were very similar to Rei's. 

Rei heard herself cry out

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Because she was literally screaming. 

As so was EVERYONE in the dining room. They were all terrified because the girl that had been *dead* for over twenty minutes, just came to life and was screaming as if she had just escaped Hell itself.

Rei sat straight up and frantically looked side to side. She was looking for Shinji. She needed Shinji!

The third child quickly got over his fear, and embraced her. He knew too much about her to stay afraid by what just happen. His fear was in losing her, not in her coming back to him. 

Rei sobbed onto his shoulder and cried out in a shaky whisper. "I'm scared oniisan... I'm scared we will never be free..."

Shinji didn't know how to respond to her comment; he just knew that no matter what, he would protect her. Rei was the most important thing in his life and he had to protect her. He gaze whipped to the left when he heard the door slam. He just realized the he and Rei were the only ones left in the dining room. The first and second conductor, plus the doctor ran out like cowards when Rei awoke

"Rei-chan" The pilot whispered out lovingly "You don't have to be afraid.. I won't let anything harm you. I promise"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Deep in NERV The commander wiped the blood off his forehead; the bullet wound was no longer there. He was no longer dead. He chuckled as he took of his glove and looked at the implanted embryo of Adam. This was why he was still alive. Thick veins were running all up his arm. He had been infected with the angel and he had been for a long time. Actually it was just the body that was infected, Ikari soul had left this body long ago. Gendo had the embryo implanted in his hand to keep SEELE from retrieving it and starting the 3rd impact with it. He never counted on it killing him, and taking over his body as if he were still alive. Gendo never counted on Adam using him, and his position to try and start the impact; the very thing he had been trying to avoid.

Adam-Gendo looked side to side for his rose tinted glasses, and smirked when he found them. He placed them on his face, and put the glove back on "Stupid lillium, they don't even question why I where glasses and gloves all the time." A sadistic laughter rang throughout the carnage that was now NERV."Have your fun Ayanami Rei... I will come for soon."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay first things first. I would like to say thank you to everyone who responded to my plight. Hopefully I won't have anymore problems with my computer ^__^ Thank again it really meant a lot to me

Second

I know this is way different from So Happy but I was asked to do different *hehe* It's going to lighten up.. I just have to explain a couple more things first.. Don't worry Gendo is not going to be in this fic much. He's just an annoyance in the back ground. ^_~

Third ~_~ GRRR 

I don't know who you are but **DO NOT SEND ME ANYMORE EMAIL ADDRESS'S THAT GO TO INCESTUOUS WEBSITES!!!!!! **I assure you I am **NOT** into incest!! I mean for crying out loud!! You could be breaking the law sending that **SH*T** to me!!! You don't even know how old I am!!!

I am a Rei and Shinji supporter. Unfortunately the creators wanted to make them related, but they also made Shinji and Rei the perfect couple. That's a bridge that all Rei and Shinji supporters had to cross and get over. But I assure you that **I DO NOT CONDONE THE RELATIONS BETWEEN RELATIVES!!! ** I think it is **NASTY**!!! So I **DON'T** care to have those types of address's given to me. **EVER!!!!!**

This is a fic. It has no bearing on my life, or my personal feelings. It is only an idea that came up after reading a V.C. Andrews book called Flowers in the Attic. My friends dared me to write something along these lines and another friend told me to go for it! So I repeat **I AM NOT INTO INCEST!! AND IF I GET ANYMORE OF THAT SH*T IN MY EMAIL I SWEAR I'LL FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE AND REPORT YOU TO THE COPS!!**

with that being said. I still do not own anything that deal with Evangelion


	7. six

Searching for Eden

Rei slowly pealed herself out of her brother's embrace. 

Shinji stared at her with a fearful expression, as he gently wiped the last of her tears off her flushed cheeks. Besides being extremely sad, her face gave no other expression. So to get the answers he needed, he whispered. "Are you ok now, Rei-chan?"

She sniffed back an on coming flood of sobs and nodded. She really wasn't feeling better, but she didn't want Shinji to worry anymore.

Too bad he could tell she was lying. "Rei, will you please tell me what just happened?"

She bit on her bottom lip and shook her head no. She was afraid to tell him. She was afraid that he would leave her if she told him. A few seconds later, she nodded after a conflicting emotion surfaced. The emotion was still fear; however, it was the fear that his life would be in great danger if he didn't know. After about a minute of silence, she nodded again, and agreed to tell him. "Later..." 

Shinji nodded and forced as warm smile, as he tried to help her stand on her feet.

"I am ok, Shinji." She assured in a melancholy whisper as she gently brushed his hands away. She really did want his help. She didn't need his help physically; the lethargy was gone, but she did need to be comforted by his touch. It calmed her in a way she didn't understand. So for that very same reason, she refused his help. She felt that she was growing dependent on him, and that was a weakness she couldn't afford to have if he decided to leave her after her confession. 

Shinji watched his sister walk in front of him, with the fluid grace she always displayed. Her mannerisms, now, showed no trace of the sorrow she had displayed. The sorrow that he had comforted her through, for the past 20 minutes. Inwardly, he felt saddened that she no longer needed his comfort, as well as happy that she seemed to be feeling better. But guiltily... a larger part of him wished that she still needed him. 

~~~~~~~~

When they got back to the cabin, Rei went straight to her book bag and delved in it until she found a clean set of under clothes, and her toothbrush. Shinji went to his book bag and dug out their bar of soap, and the toothpaste then handed it to the first child.

"Here you, Rei-chan."

Silently, she received the items, and walked out of the cabin room to go to the public bathroom to bathe. Shinji watched her leave; her disposition was so much like the girl he had always known. Not the girl he had come to know these past few days. Rei was once again showing no emotion, nor had she spoke to him since they left the dinning room. 

The pilot sat on his bed, once she left , rested he elbows on his knees and sighed dejectedly. He didn't know what to do or how to help her. He figured she knew that too, because she reverted back to the cool independent Ayanami Rei he has always known, and that's why she was rejecting him and his efforts to help her. However, he didn't entirely believe that, but it was easier for him to explain her actions as being rejected. He was used to being rejected. He understood rejection; he didn't understand Rei.

~~~~~~~~

About twenty minutes later. 

Rei walked out of the public bathroom only to almost trip over her brother. He was sitting on the floor with his back resting against the door. 

The pilot caught himself from falling back when the door unexpectedly opened, and tightly shut his eyes as he braced himself to be toppled over by his sister. After a few seconds passed, and no collision, he slowly opened his eyes. 

Rei passively stared at him, behind her tinted glasses, betraying neither emotion nor curiosity to him being there. She already knew why he was there.

Shinji gave her a sheepish grin and scrambled to his feet. "I...I was worried about you..." He reluctantly admitted. "I didn't want to be in the cabin if you....uhh...umm" He tired to think of a word besides the word 'died' to explain what happened to her in the dinning room. "If you ... had another fainting spell."

Rei gave no response to his confession. Instead she sidestepped around him and walked toward the cabin. 

Shinji followed closely and prepared himself to catch her if she happened to 'faint' again.

When they arrived at the cabin, Shinji opened the door for her. Rei glanced at him behind her tinted glasses then quickly looked away as she walked in and toward her bed. The first child knew that he was ready for an explanation. An explanation that she was not ready to confess. She also knew that Shinji knew that his father was dead; however, he didn't know that it was she who killed him. It was an honest omission, for at the time she didn't know either. Now, she was afraid of how, or if, he would accepted her when he found out. Rei glanced back at him as she took off her black wig and let her wet blue hair fall and frame her face. She watched Shinji sit on his bed and noticed when he slumped his shoulders dejectedly. She inwardly groaned; she knew she was causing him pain. So again, she looked away and busied herself with getting ready for bed. 

"Shinji" She softly called out in a monotone voice, not bothering to turn around or pause in her nocturnal preparations 

The boy immediately perked up, and gave an expectant answer of "Hai."

Rei could hear the hope that she was ready to confide in him in his voice. She hated herself when she said "You should go and use this opportunity to use the bathroom to bathe with out being disturbed. Tomorrow morning there will be a line" instead of confessing.

Shinji sighed and deflated as watched her prepare herself for bed. She was back to normal. Well, *her* normal behavior, which showed no signs that she needed his assistance, or needed *him* any further. He sighed again, for he wanted to ask her what happened in the dining room. But he was afraid, so he complied with her command and said "Ok." Shinji got up, grabbed his book bag, picked out a clean pair of boxers, and his tooth brush. 

As he did this, Rei silently placed the toothpaste and the soap on his bed then walked back to her side of the cabin. Shinji turned to say thank you, but the words died in his mouth went he saw her crawl into the bed and lay on her side with her back facing him. 

she really doesn't need me...anymore..

~~~

Shinji took a quick shower because the was afraid that Rei would have one of her 'spells' again while he was away. When he returned to the room, she was resting peacefully. His eyes tripled their size, and terror surged through his entire being once he realized that she was laying in the same exact position he left her in. So much terror in fact, he rushed over to her and shook her awake.

Rei's crimson eyes snapped open and she looked upon her brother in shock. Her facial expression clearly asked _What the hell is wrong with you?_

"Gomen!" He sheepishly squeaked out and quickly let her go then bowed profusely. "I.. I over reacted!"

In a Rei type voice, she forgave him by saying "Considering what happened, that is understandable." She then returned to laying on her side, with her back turned away from him.

He observed how she quickly turned her back to him and whispered "Gomen" one more time. Dejectedly, Shinji stood there, in the middle of the small cabin, for about five minutes and just stared at her. All the while he hoped a prayed that Rei would turn around and talk to him, or at least give her one of her rare smiles that told him that everything was going to be ok. But she did neither. After one more minute passed, and his tears began to trickle down his cheeks, he turned around, walked back to his bed, and got in.

Rei was utterly grateful when Shinji went to his bed. She could feel his eyes burrowing into the back of her head. She hated hurting him like this, but she was afraid to tell him what she knew. Since her shower she understood more of her reason why she had turned against the commander, and why when she reawakened as the third, her heart was filled with hate toward the man. So as the first child laid silently in the bed, she thought about it. She wanted to make sense of the new found knowledge before she discussed it with Shinji.

~~~

A memory came to her when she was washing her natural hair, in the shower. No... not a memory, it was more like a soft familiar voice... the voice that belonged to the second. It said

"_Revenge"_

Rei wasn't exactly sure who the voice was talking about. revenge?... against the... commander?

__

"No... against the imposter"

the imposter..? 

The tender voice did not reply. 

And that was all the, second's voice said before it left her thoughts completely. Thus leaving the third, first child to ponder on the meaning. 

~~~~

Rei shifted herself on her back, and rested her wrist on her forehead as she thought about who the 'imposter' may be. After about twenty minutes, it came to her. "Adam." I must have found out... before I died.. She nodded at her conclusion. With better clarity on her reasons for killing the shell of Shinji's father, Rei was a little less reluctant to confide in her brother; even though, she was deathly afraid that he would want to go separate ways, because the angel Adam was still after her. She turned her head to face him, and noticed that he was having another one of his nightmares.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If only the third child *was* having a nightmare, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. What he was actually experiencing was ten times worse, it was a memory; a memory of a choice he made.

__

Shinji found himself being pressed against a wall with a wounded Misato pressed against him, and giving him a very passionate and open mouthed kiss, despite the 'war' going on around them.

When she parted for air, she breathed out painfully. "That's how adults kiss..."

Shinji just stood there staring at her wide eyed, with a mixture of fear, because of what was going on around them, and desire to be once again kissed like that from the woman before him. Apparently she could tell that he desired more physical affection, for what she said next, was a promise of 

"We'll do the rest later..." Then with the last of her energy, she pushed him to safety inside the elevator.

As the door slowly closed, Shinji could see his guardian shoot her gun to fend of the oncoming SEELE soldiers and then....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rei watched her brother break out into a fit of sobs as he slept. She quickly got up and out of her bed, and made her way over to his bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

__

The doors had just closed, and Shinji was alone in the elevator. He stood there, in complete shock, for he had just witnessed the demise of his guardian. With trembling hands, he wiped off the warm blood that sprayed all over his face. The blood was Misato's; it splattered on him when she fell back against the closing elevator doors after the soldiers repeatedly shot her.

__

He was too shocked to even cry out. It was surreal and his mind refused to except what just happened. So he stood there, wide eyed, for about a minute. He would stayed there longer, but the soldiers were shooting at the elevator. Shinji snapped out of his daze, and stared at the buttons on the elevator control pad. He one of two choices to make. Misato wanted him to get to his Eva and help Asuka and save them all, but he had promised Rei that he would meet her in central dogma. They were going to runaway.... They were going to use this 'war' as their means to escape without getting caught. This was the only way she would be able to get away from his father. 

Even though the bullets were denting into the doors, and were almost about to penetrate through, Shinji thought long and hard on this decisions. He wanted to help Asuka and protect her, but he didn't want to disappoint Rei and not be there. He didn't want Rei to get killed waiting for him at their meeting spot. When a bullet made its way through the door and whizzed past his face, he had made his decision. 

"Asuka never wanted me......." He pulled out the NERV card that Rei had given him, so that he would have clearance to restricted areas, swiped it, " she doesn't need me...." and pushed the button to take him to central dogma. He nodded at his decision and whispered to himself. "Rei wants me..."

The scenery changed into a dark void, and a cold familiar voice screamed

"DO BODY WANTS YOU BAKA SHINJI!!!"

__

The third child immediately became consumed with guilt and cried out. _leave me alone,... Asuka_

"WHY SHOULD I? Hmm? YOU KILLED ME! DO YOU HEAR ME? **YOU_ KILLED_ ME**!! SO WHY SHOULD I LEAVE YOU IN PEACE?"

I.I..I didn't.....

The second child voice interrupted. "I..I..I.....STOP STUTTERING BAKA!! YOU KILLED ME!! SO I'LL F*CKING HAUNT YOU IF I WANT TO!!!"

I didn't... kill you The boy cried out and thrashed his arms. He felt like Asuka's ghost was trying to grab him.

"YOU CHOSE!!" She growled bitterly. "YOU CHOSE THE DOLL OVER ME!! SHE NEVER EVEN GAVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY, AND YOU F*CKING CHOSE HER LIFE OVER MINE!!"

Shinji didn't respond, but again he hit away the unseen assailant.

Asuka laughed cruelly at his silence and coaxed. "SHE'S GOING TO LEAVE YOU!!"

No.... she won't The third child cried out.

"SHE IS, AND YOU KNOW IT!" Asuka gave him one of her victory laughs. "SHE'S ALREADY REGRETTING SHE'S STUCK WITH YOU!! AND YOU KNOW IT!!! YOU SEE IT IN HER ACTIONS!! THE WAY SHE'S TREATING YOU NOW!!"

Shinji was crying uncontrollably because of the guilt he felt for not trying to save Asuka, and the fear that her words where true. She promised to...

"STAY WITH YOU FOREVER?" Her laughter became hateful. Then for no reason at all, her boisterous voice began to fade into a whisper "SHE'S GOING TO Leave you!! And it serves you right for letting me...." 

Her words stopped as abruptly as they started. A blinding ray of light pierced the blackness of void, and a warm comforting feeling quickly over came the sorrow, guilt and fear that consumed him. 

~~~~~~

Rei sucked on her busted lip and rested her head on Shinji's shoulder as she laid herself on top of him. She tried to wake him up, but couldn't. It was as if he were in some type of trance. She then tried to lay beside him and comfort him, but he thrashed wildly and hit her a couple of times. Hard, very hard. However, as soon she forced herself to lay on top of him, and allowed her weight to hold him down, he calmed down immediately. 

A few minutes later, Shinji's eyes slowly fluttered open, and he slowly focused on the figure on top of him. In his heart, he felt that that whoever was on top of him would have been only one of two people, the poltergeist of Asuka or his beloved imooto-chan. 

please let that be you Rei

The lights were off, so they could sleep, but the window allowed the moonlight to illuminate the small cabin. Painfully slow, Shinji's sleepy and tear blurred eyes focused and the figure was identified. The pilot took a deep breath and was happily surprised to find that the person on top of him was his sister. So happy in fact that he cupped the sides of her face in his hands and.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still don't own any thing that deals with Evangelion

Chewy you're right, ^_^ you guys didn't say I was into that stuff ^_~ (thank god) I'm sorry I had to put that little ending on the last chapter. However, I had to do that because I had deleted that email right when I got it. At the time, I didn't even think about replying and telling that person off. I just wanted it out of my mail. It wasn't until later that day, and because it was still on my mind, did I get so ANGRY! I mean, I was *already* angry, but as it festered on my mind during the day, it made my rage come out in a fury. ~_~ *grrrr* (as you read in the last chapter) I was already having a bad two weeks being sick and my computer acting up (and other numerous things that seemed to plague me at the same time.) So it was kinda like the straw that broke the camels back. I'm sorry if I offended anyone who reads my work. I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to one particular person and he/she knows who he/she is. Again. I'm sorry. I honestly felt bad as soon as I posted it. But in my humble opinion, it was a necessary evil ^_~ 

Again I'm sorry, but that last ending still applies if anyone sends me anything vulgar. ^_~

I love ya lots I really really do ^_^

Kimberly


	8. seven

Searching for Eden

Rei's crimson eyes snapped wide open and she stared into her brother's dark blue eyes. She was in complete shock! Her brother had just kissed her! On the mouth! She blinked hard and realized that ...that..he was *still* kissing her!!

~~~

At the exact same time, Shinji stared into his imooto-chan's crimson eyes. He could see the shock of what he'd just done, and was still doing in her eyes. He knew, oh God he knew, that he had blew it with her Big Time! He noticed her blink (hard) and his natural reflex, to runaway, told him to let her go and curl up into a ball, and protect himself from the beating of his life. (living with Asuka, that reaction became a natural reflex ^_~) But another part of him told him *not* to let her go, because this was going to be the last bit of affection he ever got from her, and that this was going to be the last time she even spoke to him! For she would surely leave him after tonight!

He was plagued with two equally strong, conflicting emotions as he held onto the sides of her face in a forced kiss. Then, he felt her shift her position, and he quickly made his decision. Afraid that she was trying to pull away from him, the pilot moved his right hand to the back of her head and deepened the kiss, and embraced her waist with his left. Yes, he made his choice. He chose to take as much affection from her as he could before he lost her forever.

~~~

Rei continued to look into her oniisan eyes. She could see a mixture of fear and regret for what he had done, and a desire to continue the act. Then when she shifted her position, because the way he held her head was very uncomfortable, his eyes shimmered with pure unadulterated and selfish *need*. At that exact moment, he apparently threw his fear and regret out the window, and chose to run with desire, because he wasn't letting her go. He moved his hand to the back of her head, raking his finger through her thick blue locks, and held her in tight embrace with her other hand. Surprised by his forwardness, Rei's eyes tripled their size. But did she mind? No. Why? Because everyone of her hairs were standing on end. When he pressed her lips against his, she felt like a surge of electricity went through her body. Never in her life had she felt something so wonderful, and she was almost certain that the 'second' never experience this either, or she would have surely remembered.

~~~

Shinji pressed his eyes tightly shut when Rei's look of surprise went to one of shock when he deepened the kiss. He knew this was wrong. He knew he should let her go, but he was afraid. He had gone to far now. Too many seconds had passed for him to lie and say he thought she was someone else. His eyes were open too long to try and convince her that he was still sleeping. He was in deep sh*t, and he knew it. Now, he was afraid of what she would say to him when their lips parted. So he held her tighter and continued kissing her. However, he wasn't sure if he was still kissing her because he needed the affection or just using his mouth as her muzzle. He was just grateful that she hadn't tried to pull away again. 

~~~

Oops spoke to soon. 

~~~

Rei shifted her position again. She was really uncomfortable, but she was enjoying the kiss. Although his kiss, now seemed more desperate and more forceful. Then when he once again deepen the kiss she decided that, yes, it was too much pressure on her delicate lips. Especially since he had hit her in the mouth on mistake during his nightmare. So when she moved again, she wanted to tell him not to press so hard.

~~~

When she tried to pull herself up, Shinji used all his strength to hold her back down. His brain wasn't working, it just kept telling him *not* to let her go because she was going to leave him forever, and hold on to her as long as he could because he already lost her. So when he heard her sweet voice muffle out his name, he did the only thing he could do to stop her from talking.

~~~

If Rei's eyes widened any further, her eyes would have fallen out. Shinji had slipped his tongue into her mouth. She was not expecting that! Nor was she liking it. The way his tongue ravished her mouth, felt as if he was preparing to consume her. This kiss, which started off so sweet, now frightened her. So when she moved this time, she used all her energy to pull away from him.

Shinji guiltily stared at his sister when she pulled herself into a sitting position, straddling his waist. 

The expression that graced Rei's face was a mixture of shock, fear, and confusion. She was breathing heavily as she stared at her brother and whispered out breathlessly "Why?"

Shinji started crying immediately after her question and answered with "I'm sorry... I am soo sorry!"

As the first child watched him cry into his hands, she gently touched her lips. They were still tingling from his passionate kiss. In a whisper she asked again. "Why?" She had no understanding why he would kiss her, or why he would *want* to kiss her. 

"I'm sorry..." was all he sobbed out, with his face still cupped in his hands. He couldn't bare to look at her. He was afraid to see the hate and disgust in her eyes for what he did. 

Because of his reaction to their kiss, Rei was now even more confused by his action of kissing her. did I say something that upset him?... did I do something?. She slowly leaned forward and gently placed her tiny hands on top of his, then she pried his hands off his face. He still refused to look at her, so she leaned forward until she could see under his bowed down head. "Why are you so sad, oniisan?"

Her gentle voice and sweet question completely shocked the third child. He expected her to slap him, once his face was free from the protection of his hands. He expected her to tell him that she hated him for what he forced her to do. He excepted her to run out of the cabin and never return. 

Shinji slowly lifted his head up, so he could see her and sobbed out. "I'm..sad ...because I hurt you!"

She touched her bottom lip and assured. "Do not worry about it. It will heal."

"What?" He had no clue what she was talking about.

She pulled her lip forward so he could see the split in the middle. 

His voice was broken. "I...I..did that to you..?" He felt ten times worse now that he thought he hurt her by his forced kiss.

"Not on purpose." She assured sweetly. "You did it while you were sleeping."

His brow furrowed as he tried to remembered when he could of hit her, when it came to him he said. "I'm sorry, Rei-chan.. I thought you were Asuka."

She nodded in understanding. Not complete understanding, but she understood that he was having a nightmare, and in her opinion, any dream including the second child was a nightmare. 

His tears started streaming down his face as he remembered the dream. Rei scooted closer to him; even though there was really nowhere to go. She was straddling his waist and he was sitting up. She gently wiped his tears off his face and asked. 

"Why are you crying, oniisan?"

He hiccupped his answer. "I'm ..*sniff*..afraid."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear. "Do not be afraid...I will protect you."

Her words only made him cry harder, he pulled out of her embrace, and tired to get out of the bed. When he met the resistance of Rei's weight, he plopped his head back on the bed, and covered his face with his pillow. 

The first child was totally confused now, as well as saddened that she could no longer comfort him. Slowly, she lifted herself off of him and walked back to her own bed. Now she was too terrified to tell him her secret. If he no longer needed her for comfort, then she was certain that he would leave her after he found out what she did and that Adam was still after her.

Shinji cried hysterically under that pillow for about five minutes before his fears overwhelmed him and made him confess. He ripped the pillow off his face, sat up, and cried out. "You're going to leave me aren't you?!"

Rei, who was also crying , silently crying , turned around to face him and shook her head no.

He didn't believe her. "Yes are! I can tell in the way you've been treating me!"

Rei did not respond.

Shinji laid back down and cried into his pillow then sat back up and pleaded. "Just tell me... what I did wrong... I promise, I won't do it again!"

Rei tilted her head to the side and gave him dumbfounded expression. What *he* did? Even *if* he did do something, which he didn't, in her opinion he could never do anything that would make her leave him.

"Rei...please!" He sat up on his knees as he cried. "Please... tell me what to do,... so you won't leave me...I promise whatever I did, I won't do it again!"

The first child quickly got back out of her bed and hurried to him. "Shinji, you didn't do anything..."

He didn't believe her and sobbed out "Then why are you rejecting me...?"

She thought back to how she had been treating him these past few hours, and cried out in a whisper "I'm sorry.. I did not mean to... I was just afraid."

He looked with a surprised expression. "Afraid... because of what happened?" He wiped some of his tears away. 

She kinda shrugged and nodded and reluctantly admitted. "I was afraid of...." Then realized that she wasn't ready to tell him. She was still too afraid of his reaction. So instead, she scooted closer to him and said softly "Shinji..."

He looked into her crimson eyes, then widened his eyes when she kissed him lightly on the lips. When she pulled back she whispered. 

"I am sorry...." She cupped his cheek in her hand and wiped his tears away with her thumb. "I did not mean to hurt you."

His hot tears still continued to stream down his cheeks. "Do.. you promises..."

She nodded and answered. "I will not leave you ...." Then her own hot tears started to stream down her flushed cheeks as she finished her sentence in a broken whisper. "Unless you want me to...."

He quickly wrapped his arms around her back, just as she gave him another kiss on the mouth. It wasn't long before Shinji had once again slipped his tongue in her mouth, but this time it was much gentler and Rei responded in kind, by exploring his mouth with her tongue as he did hers. 

Ever-so- slowly, he eased her back until she was lying on her back, and after her encouragement, he positioned himself on top of her and between her legs. It was in this position did he noticed what she wore for her sleeping attire. Which was only a white t-shirt and her panties. It was a change from what she usually wore. For the past few days, they had been sleeping in their clothes. Neither had any PJ 's and both only had four outfits apiece. Like Rei, Shinji didn't want to waist a clean outfit to sleep in, so he only wore his boxers to bed. 

After giving her an appreciative smile for her choice of bedwear, he brought his lips to hers again and kissed her deeply. When they parted for air he breathed out in a lusty whisper

"I would never want you to leave me, Rei-chan" then captured her lips with his, for another intense kiss. 

His words made Rei deepen the kiss, tightly wrap her arms his neck, as if she never wanted to let him go, and cry harder. For she knew that he only said that because he didn't know her secret. She knew that after she told him what she did, he would never want to be this way with her again. So she decided to take what she could tonight, and sort out the repercussions later.

Shinji took her actions as desire and let his hands roam all over the sides of her body. He wanted this. He needed this. After so many years of being alone, being used, and abused, he couldn't believe that he finally found someone who cared for him...who allowed him to care for them... who he loved ...and who loved...him? He pulled back from the kiss and asked with desperate eyes. "Rei-chan..."

She gave him a fearful gaze, thinking that he no longer wanted to be close to her. 

With hesitation he asked. "Do... you.. do you love me?"

yes She could see in his eyes that he needed her answer to be verbal, but she was afraid to answer. She didn't know if he felt the same. She wasn't even sure if she was even classifying the feeling she felt for him correctly. She thought about her life, and asked herself how was she supposed to know if she correctly defined her feelings. So her answer was "I.. am not sure... I think so... but I have never known love." 

Shinji gave her a warm smile; even though his tears were streaming down his face. Happy tears. He knew that her answer was a yes and his response was "You know love now, Rei-chan... because I love you."

She forced a smile and cried. yes, but for how long She shook that thought out of her head and kissed him again. 

Shinji was ecstatic to know that she loved him, but Rei's reaction to his feeling for her distressed him. She seemed saddened by his confession. He pulled back once again and asked "What's wrong?"

She looked up into his worried eyes. She could tell that somehow she had hurt him again. She hated hurting him and mentally decided I have no other option.. than to confess She didn't want to confess, but she knew that she would hurt him in her actions if she kept it a secret any longer. The first child took a deep breath and said

"Hypothetically speaking....what would you say ....if I told you I killed your father?"

Shinji blinked. He was *not* expecting her to say that, but he could see the fear in her eyes, so he understood why she confessed like that. He gave her a warm smile and answered "I would tell you I already knew that?"

She blinked. Hard. "How.. did you know?"

He smiled and gave his honest hypothesis. "Because...you told me that you jumped out of his jeep...I doubt he would have just kept going without you."

She nodded for that was a correct assumption. She felt *a lot* better, then dread consumed her insides her when she remembered about Adam. "What if I told you... that he is still alive."

Shinji paled.

She cried.

The pilot leaned his head forward and started to kiss away all her tears and repeatedly whispered in a comforting tone. "It's ok.."

She shook her head no and sobbed out her confession.. "He's after me!"

Shinji tilted back his head, cupped her face in his hands and wiped her tears away with his thumbs "How do you know he's after you?" 

Rei sniffed out. "Because when I 'fainted' my soul went to NERV and I saw him wake up and _he saw me_! He told me that he was going to make sure...." Her eyes widened and she stopped her confession, She didn't want to inform him about the plans of the 3rd impact. Luckily for her, Shinji interrupted at the same time.

"That was a dream." He assured. "My fath- the commander is dead."

She shook her head no. "He's alive, and he is an angel like me!"

Shinji gave her a warm smile and assured that "It was a dream " right before he kissed her pouty lips.

When they parted for air, she asked. "If it *wasn't* a dream... will you leave me?"

He saw the fear in her eyes. It mirrored his own at the thought of her leaving him. He shook his head no and promised "If it wasn't a dream, then I will protect you. I will never leave you, Rei-chan and I will never let him have you." 

She tilted her head to the side and asked "You promise?"

"Yep," He nodded and gave her a surprisingly happy smile. "It looks like your stuck with me forever!" He leaned his head forward, closed his eyes, and gave her a deep passionate kiss.

As he kissed her, Rei want to feel closer to him so she wrapped her legs around his waist, making him lose the balance he had to maintain his weight from crushing her. So, when he fell against her. his hips grinded against hers and his erect manhood grinded against her womanhood.

Both teens moaned into each other's mouth from the exquisite feeling that shot through their bodies. Shinji gazed into Rei's crimsons eyes and asked in a nonverbal question if he could do that again. Rei answered by bucking her hip repeating that surge of pleasure. The two continued this action until both of their bodies desired more.

Shinji brought one of his hands to rest on her rear, then pushed her hips forward so that her womanhood would be in the exact spot he needed to be grinded. The feeling she was giving him was so intense, he could feel that familiar tightening of his muscles. He was about to cum and he told the first child so. 

Rei gave him in intense kiss and matched his movements as she allowed the grasp he had on her rear to keep her in time and in the right position. It wasn't long before he came, and the way his face contorted in painful ecstasy was extremely beautiful to her.

Shinji collapsed on top of her after his orgasm. He truly understood why they called orgasms the little death. By pleasing himself he had ejaculated a lot, but never was it as intense as this time. He felt like he gave her a little piece of his life force. After about a minute, he regained some of his strength and started to get up. 

"Please don't" Rei pleaded softly.

The boy looked deep into her eyes and saw love radiating from them. He returned it ten fold.

Rei smiled and admitted. "I feel safe with you on top of me."

Shinji smiled, nodded and felt a surge of pride that she felt safe because of him. He positioned himself so that his weight wasn't on her.

"Relax, Shinji," She gently commanded.

He gave her a worried expression, and shook his head no. "I'm too heavy." 

She shook her head no and assured "I like it." She knew that she liked it because she loved the way it felt when he collapsed on her. The weight of him on top of her made her feel complete.

He gave her a skeptical expression, but complied with her wishes anyway. "Tell me if I get too heavy."

"I will." She promised and kissed his ear, eliciting a moan from him, as she wrapped her arms around his back and her legs around his waist.

Shinji was loving being on top of her like this. He slide one of his hands behind Rei's head, so he could secretly hold some of his weight, and with the other, he started to caress her slender legs and thighs. When his fingers brushed against the rim of her panties, he whispered in her ear as he blushed madly. 

"May I touch you?"

Rei tilted her head to look at him and answered innocently. "You are touching me."

His faced turned as red as a tomato, as he gently poked at her flower with his finger over her underwear. "Here...May I touch you here?"

The first child's face matched his color, and she quickly nodded. 

Timidly, Shinji slid is fingers through the leg opening of her white panties. He could feel the dampened, swollen, folds of her flower. He exhaled deeply in pure lust. He wasn't expecting her to feel so soft and warm and wet. He was loving it! Encouraged by her moans, and the way she arched her back, he slowly caressed womanhood lubricating his fingers with her juices. And in a moment of bravery, he glanced at her, and she nodded giving him permission to go further. Slowly he allowed his finger to go deeper inside her. 

Rei moaned loudly and shifted her hips so his finger could go completely inside her.

In a libidinous whisper he asked. "Do you like this?" 

She tightly pressed her eyes shut and nodded as another moan escaped her lips.

Shinji smiled and shifted his weight so he was now only partially on top of her. He then moved his hand so he could easily thrust his finger in and out of her and caress her labia with his thumb. He brought his mouth back to hers and kissed her with a hunger passion, and closed his eyes so he could concentrate on the satiny feel of her womanhood. 

He moaned into her mouth. "I love you so much, Rei"

The first child arched her back and bucked her hips. She could feel her release coming and moaned out. "I love you too, oniisan!"

Shinji's eyes snapped open at the realization of her words. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still don't own anything that deals with Evangelion. ^_~


	9. eight

Searching for Eden

Rei was laying on her back, Shinji lay on top of her kissing her deeply and his hand was caressing and penetrating her womanhood. Never in her life did she suspect that touching that one area could elicit so much pleasure and so many feelings. it never feel like this when I touched it.

Of course, the only time she touched her flower was while bathing or to wipe herself clean, after using the bathroom. So, for that very reason, she mistakenly concluded that this is love. In her opinion, love was tangible after all. Her brother had told her the truth. Shinji had confessed his love for her, and told her that she would now know love. Rei closed her eyes as tears of joy streamed out the corners and into her hair. She wanted to concentrate on the feeling of love, Shinji was giving her with his hand. She never fathomed that she could feel so completely connected to another person without the third impact. But Rei felt completely connected to Shinji when he did this to her. 

Rei moaned lustfully into his mouth. Oh gawd she needed this. She needed him, and he needed her. In her opinion, his actions proved it. He was giving her and showing her what love was. What other proof of his feelings was there? 

Rei opened her eyes and gazed into Shinji's face. She smiled slightly though the kiss, because of the way his eyes were closed. He looked so intense, as if he were concentrating on love as well. 

Shinji shifted his hand and touched a spot inside her flower that made her whole body shudder. She moaned with appreciation into his mouth. Which in turn encouraged him to thrust his finger against that spot again and again and again. 

The first child felt something building up inside of her. Her head tilted back and her back arched as she prepared her body for the release. For the first time in her existence, she truly felt alive, wanted, needed and loved. 

Shinji gave her another passionate kiss and moaned in her mouth/ "I love you so much, Rei"

More happy tears streamed out of Rei's eyes because of his words. She smiled into his mouth as her back arched even more. She could see stars and felt sparks of electricity surging through her body. She couldn't explain the intense feeling his love was doing to her body, but she knew that this was an expression of his devotion to her. As her climax began to surface, she put a death grip on the bed sheets and moaned back into his mouth. "I love you too, oniisan!"

Shinji's eyes snapped open and he looked into his sisters beautiful face. The wrongness of this shared affection just dawned on him, as so did the ramifications of what he just did to her... He looked away from her face and at his hand.... What he was still doing to her! The third child guiltily whispered "Oh_my_God" then he quickly pulled back and withdrew is finger from inside her.

"Please don't stop!" Rei moaned out frantically as she grabbed his wrist and pushed his hand/finger back inside her. She looked into his eyes and panted out. "I'm close to something!" She wasn't sure what she was close to, she just new that his love was making something build up inside of her, and she wanted to see it through. 

Shinji looked away from his sister and said in another guilty whisper. "Rei.... I can't". He tried once again to move his hand.

"Please, oniisan!" Rei pleaded and grabbed his wrist. The need in her voice made her sound as if she was on the verge of crying. " I want you to continue to show me what love is!"

oniinsan That word pierced his heart like a rusty jagged dagger. Shinji looked back into her crimson eyes and was overwhelmed by the need and the love in them. He knew ,in his eyes, he returned it ten fold. He needed her. He needed to be able to love her they way he wanted.....but he couldn't. Compounded with his own sorrow, he felt horrible because he knew that his sister was confused about what love was, and how siblings were allowed to express that love. But moreover, he knew that it was he who confused her. His mind went back to when he told her that he loved her and to what they were doing at the time. 

When he felt her trying to put his hand back inside her, he quickly left his memory. Instead of pulling his hand back, he stopped his finger from entering her by balling up his fist.

When he did that, Rei felt crushed. She couldn't understand why he didn't want to show her love anymore. Reluctantly, she released his wrist and stared at him,, as her eyes watered up with unshed tears. Her chin quivered a bit right before she asked in a broken voice. "Did I do something wrong?"

When a single tear trickled down her cheek, Shinji's eyes swelled up with his own tears. He shook his head no and whispered. "No.. I did."

She tilted her head quizzically to the side as more tears trickled down her face. She didn't understand.

His own tears streamed steadily down his cheeks as he scooted back and sat on his knees. "I'm sorry, Rei"

The first child wiped away her tears, sat up, and walked on her knees to him. Her stomach tied in a knot when he flinched at her approach, but she continued, and wrapped her arms around him anyway. She rested her cheek against his and whispered in his ear. "I forgive you..."

Shinji started to cry harder. She was so understanding, too understanding. He started to wrap his arms around her waist, but his embraced was stopped when Rei caught his left hand, in her right, and slipped it into her panties and cried out in a whisper. 

"Just... please... don't take your love away from me." 

Shinji leaned back and fearfully looked into her crimson eyes. What he saw, broke his heart into a thousand pieces. For in her eyes, he could clearly see her desperation and fear of being rejected by him. "Rei..."

She pressed her forehead against his, and hiccupped her sobs. She could feel him trying to tug his hand away. Through her tears she asked. "Do you not love me any more?"

Shinji continued to look up into her eyes. Her hot tears were falling off her long eyelashes and splashing against his cheeks, mingling with his own tears. In a broken whisper, he answered her. "Of course, I love you..."

She looked deep into his dark blue eyes and cried in a whisper. "Then please don't stop showing me what love is.... I want to continue to know...love." She titled her head to the side and leaned forward and kissed him.

The third child's eyes widened when he felt her moist mouth on his. He pulled back, but Rei matched his movements and slipped her tongue in his mouth. Her kiss was so desperate. It radiated the rejection she felt. It was breaking his heart, for he could feel her fear that she lost his love in the kiss. He could feel the hope that by doing this act, she could get his love back. He could feel her insecurities and self-doubt. He wanted to reassure her, and return the kiss but... this is wrong. He broke the kiss and removed his hand from her panties. 

Rei looked at him, hut beyond repair. She didn't understand why he didn't want to express his love with her anymore. He said he loved her. He said that she would now love because he loved her, and now when she thought she understood what it was, what it felt like, he took it away. He told her he did something wrong. That it was wrong to ...love... her...?. 

Rei cupped her face in her tiny hands, and tried to fight off her onslaught of tears. She wondered if this was what emotions were. When she was under the control of the commander, she didn't have to experience them. He made sure of that. He gave her pills, downers that ensured compliance. However, she stopped taking them after she and Shinji made plans to leave. She didn't want to be swayed from their plan. But now, she was regretting that choice, and she wished for one of those little red pills that kept her oblivious to the hardships of life. She was regretting that now she was free from NERV *and *the pills that Ritsuko made sure she took. Because now, she was forced to feel. Feel everything that was once kept from her. To feel the joy as well as the pain. Oh the pain! These feelings of emotional pain overwhelmed her. It hurt every fiber of her being, and they made her wonder if this was what she wanted. She wanted to love; she wanted to be loved; but was this love? Pain!! Was love something to be given, and then cruelly taken away? She didn't know. All she knew was what Shinji showed her, and what he took away without reason. 

She raked her fingers over her angelic face, and glared at her brother through red rimmed eyes. "I am not a doll!"

He was taken back by her declaration and how she mutilated her precious face. The only time he had ever heard her say those words was when she was talking about her relationship with his farther. Worried about her injuries, he reached his hand to her face and tried to wiped off the blood that trickled from the scratches, made by finger nails. Then he froze, and his eyes widened in shock and he wondered if that was how she saw him now? If that was how she felt. Used? In her eyes, did she really believe that he was no better than his father? 

Rei waited a few seconds for her brother to respond, only because he seem to want to caress her face. She thought, hoped, he wanted to make everything right again, but he didn't. He didn't say anything. He didn't follow through in caressing her face. He just sat there and stared at her with a guilty expression. so he WAS just playing with me Her conclusion to his actions made her sorrow unbearable. She hit his hand away from her face, savagely wiped away some of her tears and hiccupped out. "I-I.. I *do* have feelings... Shinji" She turned away from him, quickly scooted of the bed, and cried out as she made her way to the cabin door. "...And...I ..I don't appreciate you toying with them.... I never asked you to tell me you loved me...." She stopped at the door and in a barely audible whisper cried out. "You didn't have to lie to me...." 

Shinji looked at her standing there in her t-shirt and panties prepared to walk out that door and out of his life forever. He didn't know what to do or say, but he knew he loved her and that wasn't a lie. He just didn't know how to prove it to her without overstepping the boundaries between siblings, again. He jumped off his bed right, after she walked out the door. When he stepped into the hall, he was surprised to see how much distance she covered. He quickly ran down the narrow hall, and grabbed her wrist.

She spun her heals and faced him. "Leave me alone!" 

"No!" He grabbed her other delicate wrist when she tried to hit him. "Rei, please listen to me!"

"Why!" She cried out. "So you can tell me more lies?"

"I didn't lie to you!" He assured loudly. "I love you!"

Because the walls of the cabins were paper thin, anyone and everyone could hear the two pilots yelling in the narrow corridor. So like moths to a flame, blinds went up, so cabin passengers could see the spectacle and those who were further down the hall, actually came out to see what was going on. Rei's voice was, of course, harder to hear because her voice was naturally low, but they heard the gist of what she said.

Oblivious to the audience, The first child shook her head no making her fine blue hair swish in front of her flushed face. "Then why did you take your love from me?!"

"I didn't" Shinji assured oblivious to his surroundings as well. Right now, all that mattered was making sure Rei didn't walk out of his life forever. "I could never take my love away from you.... You are my reason to live, Rei...I will always love you." 

She looked into his eyes and found truth. She leaned forward and kissed his lips.

"Awe isn't that kawaii!" A man called out from down the hall "Now go to your room, little kiddies and make up properly!"

Shinji returned the kiss and embraced her, then pulled back after he heard the cat calls from the observers. "I'm sorry, Rei...we can't do this!"

Shaking and confused, Rei was completely speechless as she lowly backed away from him.

Shinji walked toward her and gently grabbed her hands. "Rei please... try to understand.. I do--"

"You lie!" She interrupted in a cry and tried to pull herself free from his grasp. "Stop lying to me!

"Rei, please try to understand!" He cried out, now grabbing her wrists to keep a hold of her. Her attempts to break free, barely had any strength behind them, giving a false illusion that she really wasn't trying to free herself. But when he looked into her crimson eyes, he could tell that all she wanted was for him to.

"Let me go!" She cried out in pure desperation. She inwardly cursed her weakness. It was a genetic flaw in her make-up that commander purposely included. 

"Let her go, man!" Yelled another man. "Apparently you don't care for her. So stop f*cking with her emotions!"

Other observers started yelling at Shinji to let Rei go.

Shinji tightly pressed his eyes shut as he tried to ignore everyone around them and cried out. "I do love you but..." He opened his blue eyes and looked into her crimson ones. "We just can't do that anymore!"

"Why?" She stopped struggling and looked deep into his eyes for understanding. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No" He whispered solemnly. 

"Are you sure? She asked meekly. When he nodded, she leaned forward for a reassuring kiss and whispered "Then prove it" right before her tender lips captured his. 

He pulled back. 

With this last betrayal, Rei's hurt quickly became anger. She was tired of her brother's declaration of love, but refusal to love her. She narrowed her eyes and cried. "If you love me, then why do you pull away when I kiss you...... Why won't you touch me anymore!"

"Because I can't!" He whispered solemnly.

"I will!" Laughed a man down the hall.

Shinji narrowed his eyes angrily at the man.

Rei ignored him and asked "Is it me?"

Another comment was made about Shinji just not being man enough. 

The third child shook his head no and asked her "Can we go back into the cabin and talk about this?"

Rei ignored his request and asked. "Then what is it? Why are you rejecting me?"

"I'm not, Rei..." He assured, then pleaded as he tugged on her wrist and started dragging her. "Please... Lets go back to the cabin."

"No!" She twisted out of his grasp and backed up. She was not going back in there, were he could play with her emotions again. She wanted to know the truth. Good or bad. Whether he loved her or not. She wanted to know before she went anywhere with him. So she asked angrily and *very* loudly. 

"If you love me, oniisan! Tell me why you will no longer make love to me!"

Shinji was at first shocked by the volume in her voice. In all the time he had known her, he had never heard her talk so loud . Not even when they were running for their lives at NERV. A millisecond later, he was horrified. His brain had just processed what she said. The pilot could hear everyone gasp in shock because of what Rei just called him. They thought that they were observing a lovers spat. Not a lovers spat between siblings. Shinji took a deep breath, and ignored the people around him and cried out. "Because it is forbidden..." 

"But that didn't stop you before you...."

Shinji interrupted before she went into any details. "I'm sorry Rei. I'm sooo sorry."

"Oh how disgusting!" The man who had been hitting on Rei said. "Are you telling me you f*cked your sister?"

"No!" Shinji yelled to the man then looked at everyone and addressed everyone. "I never had sex with her!" 

"Then why would she say that!" Yelled another person.

For the first time since they entered the hallway, Rei noticed the other people around them She looked at the brother defending his and her actions. She could tell that he wanted to runaway. He wanted to go back into the cabin and hide from the verbal abuse he was receiving,. But he wasn't going to leave, not until she went with him. So he stayed in that narrow hallway, and he verbally fought back with the people that accused them of....incest. Rei did not know of that word but she could tell that it wasn't a good thing. Because of all of the hostility and confusion, the first child decided that she *did* want to go back into the cabin.

Rei gently placed her hand over Shinji's balled fist. He spun around and looked at her, momentarily glaring at her with a look of rage before his gaze softening into forlorn love. 

"I'm soo sorry" He whispered with pure regret.

She nodded and whispered. "I'm sorry too" and forced a warm smile.

He intertwined his fingers with hers and led her back to the room. Both did their best to ignore the hateful comments from the others in the hallways.

******************

In another part of Japan, A part that much resembled Hell...

The fallen angel, Adam, groaned as and raised himself to his knees. He had been shot AGAIN!! This was the third time he had been shot with a fatal injury as he made his way to the MAGI. The SEELE soldiers where really trying his divine patients. He rubbed the back of his neck and made sure that the would was completely healed, then he rubbed his back and made sure those wounds where healed as well.

"Damn cowards! Shooting me in the back!"

Slowly, he stood up and cautiously continued on his way. He didn't want to be shot again, for he could feel the pain of it. He could also feel the pain of the death. But unfortunately, death would not kill him. He was punished to die when the maker saw fit. Death was the curse and the privilege of the lililum. The curse was bestowed on them because of the choice that he and his wife made eons ago.

His thoughts of Eve made him quicken his pace. She was created from his flesh, but she was not divine. She was lillium and she died far too long ago. To many eons had passed for him to be denied to join with her. 

"If I would have just protected you better..." A single tear escaped is crimson eyes "Then you wouldn't have been deceived."

He was too late to stop her before she bit into the fruit of that dreaded tree of knowledge. He was told by the maker to take care of her, but he failed in his job. He failed to protect her from temptation.

History places the blame of Adam and Eve's fall from grace on the shoulder's of his beloved wife. It's told that she ate the fruit, then brought the fruit to him, and seduced him into eating it as well. History lied. After Eve bit into the fruit, Adam knew that he could not bare to live in Eden without her. He knew whatever her punishment, he wanted to join her in it. So he willingly ate the fruit against *her* protest.

Eve did not want him to know what she now knew. When the bitter fruit trickled onto her tongue and mixed with her blood, she knew her mistake immediately. She new everything. Blood? Yes blood, because the fruit was not an apple. It was not sweet or inciting. It was not a fruit of the world of lillum. It was bitter; it also had thorns on its flesh, and the smell of it was foul, putrid even. Anything the maker could have done to make this fruit undesirable to eat, he did. The only reason he planted the tree in Eden was to make sure that they were worthy of his gift of eternal life and paradise. They weren't. They both chose against the maker. Eve chose knowledge; Adam chose her, when they both should have chosen to obey the one rule ever made by their maker. So they were punished for their sin of disobedience. Thrown out of Eden, and its location lost for all eternity. They were also punished with death. Not immediately but eventually. They would not be able to live together forever. They were to be separated in death. A punishment made specifically for Adam, because her chose her over the maker. Adam was punished with death too, but the time of his demise was to be determined by the maker.

The angel smirked as he walked through the dark corridors. For he found a loop hole in the makers punishment. He found out that when the last of the lillium died, so would he. So during the time that Christ walked the earth, he used his powers to make a prophet write a particular excerpt in the Dead Sea Scrolls, informing them of the angels arrival, and also some mumble jumble about eternal life and raising to the ranks of godhood. He did this to make sure that the finders of these scrolls would take up arms against the angels. Adam chuckled softly at his use of simple mind manipulation. Then smirked at his cleverness, for his plan worked. 

He hid behind a corner and watched three solider run past him. 

Though the scroll was written over two thousand years ago, Adam knew that on that divine day, Lillith would come for him. Time was ruled differently for his species and he new on that day Lillith would bring him back in to the land of Angels and back to his punishment. If the lillium didn't help him. He thought again about Lillith and scowled. She had come earlier than the others had, and she confronted him in Antarctica. They fought a fierce battle and cause the second impact. Unfortunately, that battle revealed his plan to become the death of the lillium. Because during the fight, he fused with her. Unfortunately, what he thought would happen didn't. Their merge only caused the destructive explosion that left only 1/3 of earths population alive. His attempt failed, because Lillith was not powerful enough to be the end of the lillium; she needed more power. She needed the divine energy of the other 15 angels. In their death, their souls would be housed inside Lillith because she was the ARK. She housed everyone and everything. She even held inside her, his precious Eve. He now knew that he was going to have to try again after Tabris. Another tear trickled down his check for his son. The child third and last child of he and Eve. The angel of free, will only because he was half Lillium. Tabris was his baby boy, and he sacrificed him to ensure the third impact. 

Adam had housed his son in his soul after his first son Cain, killed Abel, his second child. That was when the realization of death finally dawned on him. His fear of losing his family made him hide his newly born child to protect him from the inevitable. During the second impact, Tabris expelled from him. It was part of Adams plan, to once again join with Eve. Tabris was still in the form of a baby, and the child was found by SEELE operatives. For the mere fact that Tabris was found in Antarctica, and survived the impact they knew that the child was clearly not human. SEELE put on record that he was born that day, and raised him within the confines of a secret sector of the UN walls. However, the only desire Tabris had while he was growing up was to rejoin with father, to be once again become eternal. It was all he had ever known. It was what he needed, to get back to his father. They knew this and told him that they would allow him to be with his father, but in the end, he was tricked and was confronted with Lillith.

After the fight, Adam had used up his divine energy and he cocooned himself into a protective egg. Lillith had spent most of her energy during the battle as well, and because she no longer enough strength to go back home she purposely allowed herself to be captured by Gendo She made a deal with the commander. She told him that she would help him ensure that the third impact didn't happen. She promised to give him the secret to making a man made angel, an Eva, but he had to take apart of her soul and create a living vessel to house it in. Lillith wanted Gendo to take her most powerful half. She wanted him to take Omega. Without Omega, their would be no third impact. He agreed and called the child Rei. He chose that name for many reasons. One was because he liked the name. However, his truest reason was because the name suited her perfectly. She was a the most powerful part of Lillith's soul. Soul, which is also a definition of Rei. And because the child was the end. She was Omega, nothing, which is also a definition of Rei. 

Despite all his efforts, the commander was tricked by Adam's simple mind manipulations in the end. The angel tricked the commander into thinking that the egg of Adam would be safer if he it was with him at all times, just like he kept Rei with him. So the Gendo implanted the egg into his hand and was instantly killed. Adam then controlled the shell of the commanders body to control NERV under the false pretense that he was ensuring the survival of the human race when he was actually just waiting for all the angels, who were coming to retrieve him and bring him back, where killed and their souls deposited inside Lillith. It was a perfect plan, but it back fired. He wasn't expecting Gendo's son to discover his relations with Omega. He wasn't expecting Omega to reject him. He wasn't expecting Omega to runaway with the boy. 

Adam ran toward the elevator and smirked when he saw the dead body of the major leaning against it. He hated that woman because she got on his last divine nerve. Actually he hated everyone he worked with, except Ritsuko. In his opinion, she was a good f*ck. Not much else, but nothing else besides getting back to Eve mattered to him. Actually, not even the sex she gave him mattered, but she gave it so freely. So he took it. The doctor was always trying to steal Gendo's affection from Rei. She didn't understand why he cared so much for the girl. She only saw the DNA he used, and mistaking assumed that he was trying to replace his dead wife with the child he created. The reason he used Yui's DNA was because he loved his wife and wanted to honor her last wish by creating the daughter that they were supposed to have. The reason he kept Rei with him at all times was because he promised Lillith that he would always protect Omega. 

Adam walked into the elevator, swiped his authorization card, and pressed the button that would take him to the MAGI. He needed to destroy it. As long as it is operating effectively, he couldn't use his powers without being detected. And that was unacceptable. He knew by doing this, Omega would be able to use her powers without being detected too. but she wouldn't know that. So she wouldn't use them and chance being caught.

The angel patiently stood in the elevator as it took him to his destination. He smirked evilly. "Ritsuko... I'll see you soon."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I still don't own anything that deals with Evangelion

^_^

Ok one thing before you go ^_^ That little explanation about Adam and Eve.. well that's all a lie. ^_^ I am not trying to add anything to that holy story or to any story in the Bible. ^_~ Why am I putting this little explanation? Because I don't want to be cursed. And if you know what Paul wrote in the New Testament, you'll understand why I did this. And if you don't, well I'm not going to tell you what he wrote, because its not my place to try to conform you into my beliefs. So this is all about *me* and *my* soul, and that's why I want you to know that everything I wrote is FICTION. ^_^

Oh one more comment. I'm not changing the rating. One has to be at least 17 to read a 'R' fic and at least 17 to read a NC17 fic. the only difference between the two is sex. NC17 should have SEX and lots of it. On every chapter. (hopefully)^_~ Rei and Shinji have yet to have sex . They only touched, kissed and grinded over clothes. ^_~ but thanks for the suggestion anyway ^_^

I love ya lots I really really do

Kimberly


	10. nine

Searching for Eden

Once he found that the corridor was clear, Adam cautiously walked out of the elevator then sprinted toward the camber which held the MAGI. At the large double doors, he swiped his authorization card and walked in, then pressed the button to close the doors. He didn't want to be interrupted, for what he had to do took great concentration without the use of his AT field. 

The pseudo commander smirked at the slain body of Ritsuko Akagi. He had killed her when he caught her in the act of trying to destroy the MAGI. At the time, it wasn't part of his plan. Nor was is part of his plan to be blown up inside of NERV because of the doctors insane jealously, and her revenge for allowing her cats to starve to death. 

Adam laughed at that last thought and crouched down beside the deceased woman. He rested his elbows on his knees, pressed his fingertips together, and concentrated.

__

"RITSUKO....COME!"

After thirty minutes of summoning, the doctors eyes opened. Slowly, her eyes focused on the commander.

Adam gave the woman a pleased smile. He was pleased with himself and his ability to retrieve her soul. However, he was sure that Lillith allowed the soul to come back to its vessel. 

In a raspy voice, the doctor asked. "Where the hell am I?" .

"Not hell..." Adam joked in Gendo's icy voice. "Although you probably couldn't tell the difference."

With painstaking effort, Ritsuko sat up and looked at her hands. She noticed the fingertips were blue signifying the loss of oxygen, a sure sign of death. They were also swollen. She looked down at her body and noticed the bullet wound in her chest and also that her body was bloated, another sure sign of death. With effort, her head whipped toward Gendo/Adam.

" Ahh ahh ahh... Not so fast..." The commander chuckled. "You're suffering from a little rigor mortis."

Akagi whispered out. "How...why..." She couldn't understand how or why the commander brought her back from death.

"How?" He raised a brow then took off his tinted glasses and revealed his red eyes.

She scooted back in fear. "What are you?"

He asked knowingly. "What do you think I am?"

She didn't answer. Instead she tried to force her body to comply and stand up. 

Adam stood up and chuckled at her futile attempt to escape. "Where do you think you're going?"

She didn't answer him. She just scrambled on her hands and knees as she tried to crawl away.

The angel allowed her to crawl a few steps away from him before he walked to her and grabbed her by the back of her hair and growled. "Enough games!" He pulled her up by her hair and onto her feet. "I have a job for you!"

"You can't be serious!... .You f*cking killed me..." She tried to swallow hard to moisten her throat so she could speak, but her body was not producing saliva because she was dead. So in a raspy voice she whispered out. "I hate you... I'll never help you again!"

"Oh, I think you will." The commander interrupted flatly and threw her against the super computer. 

Ritsuko slammed against it hard, thankfully her pain receptors were no longer functioning, or she would have been sorely hurt by the impact of it. As she slid down, she asked weakly. "What am I?...How am I here?"

Adam stood in a more relaxed stance and watched his deceased lover ponder her existence. He answered a bit mirthfully. "You're a zombie."

She shook her head no and tried to will herself to cry. She didn't want to be back, not under his control. Not in a decaying body! am now worse than what Rei ever was.. 

He poked out his bottom lip and said in a mock baby voice. "Whaaaat? You don't like the voodoo that I do so well?" 

She narrowed her eyes angrily at him. "I hate you!" Her voice was painfully low, but the venom behind her words were as clear as ever. 

"That matters not " The commander said cruelly and walked toward her. "I have a job for you. I want you to immobilize the MAGI."

She interrupted weakly. "It's impossible... I tried remember..." She laughed bitterly and slowly stood up defiantly. "And I..." 

"Failed" He finished her sentence. His crimson eyes narrowed angrily. He wasted precious time calling for this soul. She was "Useless" 

Ritsuko heard what he called her, and gave him a victorious smirk through her blue lips, blue because of the lack of oxygen, right before her body fell limp to the ground. He had returned her soul to Lillith.

Adam paced around angrily. "Dammit!" He needed the MAGI deactivated. He could just as easily blow it up with use of his AT field, but that wouldn't deactivate the others that were connected within the worldwide system. He need the blue light detection cut off. He walked over to the corpse of the doctor, and kicked out his frustrations on it. "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit to HELL!!"

He then angrily paced around and thought about his current situation. A few minutes of deliberation passed before he glanced at Ritsuko again. The attention he gave to her was because he just realized the mistake he just made. His mistake was in the way he was vented his displaced anger on the doctors body, for his foot tore a hole in her side, and the gaseous build up that was bloating her was slowly seeping out. The smell of it was absolutely disgusting. He covered his nose with the back of his fingers and fought the urge to vomit. Though his thoughts were cloudy because of the mind numbing smell, he continued to ponder on why Ritsuko failed in her attempt so destroy the MAGI. When the answer finally came to him, he smiled behind his hand and whispered 

"Naoko..."

Adam now knew that he was going to have to retrieve the soul of Ritsuko's mother. That would be easy enough, for he had a vessel to house it in. He didn't have to have the elder doctor Akagi's original body, any vessel would do and he had one, in her daughter. 

"I should have called on her in the first place." He growled to himself. 

Adam knew that it was Naoko who designed the super computer. She was the one who put her personalities in Melchior-1, Balthasar-2, and Casper-3, who were the three computers which made up the MAGI. She was the one who foiled Ritsuko's plans by creating a firewall to block any attempt to destroy her creation. Naoko wanted to ensure that Gendo succeed in his plan, whatever the cost, no matter who was hurt or betrayed. But would she still be so loyal? Gendo had punished the soul of Naoko by having Rei deposit it in unit 00 Eva. He purposely allowed the child that she killed, to force her into compliance. Gendo made Rei, Naoko's master. 

With Gendo's past grievances in mind, Adam ignored the putrid smell, sat beside the body, and meditated. He called upon the soul of the elder Dr. Akagi. 

***************************

Shinji locked the door behind Rei, then leaned back against it, closed his eyes and sighed. What had just transpired in the hall was one of the worst things he ever had to experience. It ranked up there with the first time he had to pilot unit 01. Ok, maybe it wasn't one of his worst experiences, but it was pretty bad. Standing up for himself was something he never did, and in his opinion it was harder than piloting an Eva or fighting and angel. His heart was pounding a mile a minute as he stood there breathing heavily, until a soft tender voice called on him.

"Shinji"

The pilot froze when she called him. He wasn't ready to face Rei yet. After what happened between them, he didn't know how to act around her. He wasn't sure if she would demand physical affection from him again. He wasn't sure if he would continue to reject her desire, for it was also his desire as well. But as the minutes passed and he still did not respond, he quickly realized that there was no were he could go and hide from her. So he slowly pried his eyes open, one at a time, and look upon his beautiful sister.

Rei was standing there with her hands delicately clasped in front of her, and she stared quizzically at him with her angelic tear streaked face. 

He swallowed hard before he answered. "Y-y-yes...Rei?"

Before she could speak, someone kicked their door, scaring both children. Shinji jumped away from the door, grabbed Rei by the hand, and ran to the opposite side of the cabin. The two teens could hear a man yell some curses at them and call them an abomination. 

It wasn't until a few minutes after the man went away did Shinji realize that he still was holding Rei protectively in his arms. Once he realized this, he guiltily let her go.

"Gomen"

She tilted her head to the side, but did not respond to his comment. She had no idea why he would be sorry for trying to protect her. maybe he realized I could protect myself? 

Shinji looked away from her, but stayed there against the wall. He was afraid to move from that location. He felt safe there because it was the furthest spot from the door and those hateful people.

Rei looked away from him too and walked toward her bed. Unlike her brother, she was not afraid.

Shinji eyes widened frightfully when he saw her walking toward the middle of the room, for he could still hear people outside the door cursing them for their love. He didn't want her anywhere the door just incase they burst through. So he grabbed her wrist. 

The first child stopped and gave him a side profile of her face. "Yes?"

"Rei... I want you to stay over here." His fear was clearly audible.

She looked at the door, listened to the rants, then turned and faced him. "Why are they so angry?"

The boy looked at the door then back to her. "They think that our love is wrong..."

"Why?" She tiled her head to the side.

Shinji looked down at his feet and meekly answered "Because we're related."

Rei took a step closer to him and asked. "And that it is wrong... to love one's sibling?"

He looked at her and answered "No..." She was about to say something else, but he interrupted her. "But they think *our* love is wrong..."

Her face was expressionless. "I do not understand." 

Shinji swallowed hard and looked away from her. He did not know how to explain this. He took a deep breath and turned back to her. "Rei, do you love me.."

"Yes" She interrupted.

He smiled. He couldn't help himself, it felt good to be loved, he continued hesitantly. "Do you love me as a brother?"

She answered absolutely. "Yes."

Shinji furrowed his brow.

As so did Rei's. By his reaction to her response, she realized that she gave him the wrong answer; although she didn't know why it was wrong. 

He took a deep breath. "Rei..."

She interrupted him. "Do you not love me as a sister?"

The boy shook his head no.

Her chin started to quiver and her eyes watered up. His answer tore out her heart. so he doesn't love me after all!! 

He quickly corrected his error. "I love you in a different way..."

She choked out. "I do not understand." 

He took another deep breath. He if he wasn't looking into her melancholy crimson eyes, he would swear that she was purposely being difficult. Unfortunately that wasn't the case, for he could tell that she really didn't understand. He leaned his back against the window and slid down into a sitting position.

Rei took that as her queue to sit as well. But unlike Shinji, who sat in an Indian style, she sat on her knees Japanese style. She continued to look at him quizzically. 

The boy raked his hands through his brown hair and began. "Rei ... when I think about our relationship... I see us... together but...." He looked into her eyes as she passively waited for his explanation. "But like a man and a woman"

Rei slightly quirked at brow. She didn't understand. man and a woman... does he only want to be together when we're older?

Shinji could tell that she still didn't understand. "Rei... weren't you ever taught about this?"

"No." She answered innocently. "Were you?"

That question caught him off guard. "Uhh... No.." 

"I was created to fulfill the commander's plan." The first child answered honestly "Since my death and my reawaking my knowledge and my memories mostly consists of the happenings of NERV." 

The boy nodded in understanding. He took another deep breath to give himself strength to continue with the conversation. and to calm his queasy stomach. Her confession brought up bad memories. Before he began, he brought his knees up to his chest, turned beet red, and admitted meekly.

"Rei...oh gawd.. how can I admit this.. the way... I feel..." He raked his hands in his hair, and hid his face between his knees and mumbled out. "I love you, and I want to be with you the way we were when we were kissing ...and stuff..." oh gawd just take me now

Rei crawled over to him, stood up on her knees, and gently ran her fingers through the back of his hair. "Me too."

Shinji muffled a groan. This was not going well. Fortunately, fate was going to help him out. Someone from the outside hit their door hard, and called them incestuous bastards. Rei twisted slightly and looked at the door, other than that she did not outwardly respond to the comment, but Shinji got pretty shaken up. 

She turned back around, looked down into her brothers dark blue eyes and asked "What is this _incest _they keep yelling about?"

Shinji looked back into her eyes. He couldn't believe she didn't know, then he remember her confession.

She tilted her head quizzically and awaited his answer.

Shinji blushed heavily and said. "It when relatives have sex."

Her brow furrowed "And this is wrong?"

duh "Umm... yes"

"But all lillum are related." Rei's voice rang with pure innocence. "Are you sure it is wrong?"

Now it was Shinji's turn to furrow his brow. "Why did you call us lillum?"

She looked away from him and was silent for about 2 minutes. "Something inside me...considers you lillum.."

"But you never considered us lillum before..." The boy asked curiously. "Or did you?"

She looked at the floor and shook her head no. "Part of me was suppressed ...I took pills...that made me into the girl you knew...That part of me... is now waking up ."

"Oh.." He looked at her sympathetically. "Do you still take them?"

She wanted to drop that subject. Rei looked at her brother and shook her head no, then scooted closer to him.

Before she could do anything else, Shinji squeaked out. "Rei...we can't do that?"

She looked him in the eyes, and asked "Do what?"

He blushed because of the intensity of her gaze, and reluctantly admitted. "Kiss and....stuff"

The first child quirked a brow and looked away from him. That was not her intention when she closed the distance between them, but since he decided to change the subject, she decided to ask "Why?" She was curious anyway.

"Because you're my sister and its wrong."

She looked him deep in the eyes and asked. "Do you believe that?"

He didn't answer immediately. When he did answer, it was in a guilty whisper. "It doesn't matter what I think or want... It's forbidden for a brother and sister to be intimate in that way."

Rei repositioned herself so that she was sitting on her knees, and thought about what he just said. She looked into his glistening eyes. They were moist from unshed tears. She took a deep breath and embraced his shoulders.

Shinji stiffened. He was worried that she still didn't understand, until she whispered in his ear.

"Oniisan.. I have never known family...so I do not know if this is appropriate..."

Shinji eyes rolled to the back of his head. Rei's sweet lips were brushing up against his ear as she spoke. He never knew, before that moment that every nerve in his body was connected to his earlobe. 

Rei continued. "Is it ok ...if I do this?"

Shinji knew she was talking about the hug and not what she was unconsciously doing to his ear. He nodded.

She pulled back and smiled warmly. She placed her hands on his perched up knees and pressed on them until he got the hint to lower them. She then straddled his thighs and embraced him again.

"Is this ok?"

His eyes had tripled their size and he barely made out. "I-I..I don't think so"

She nodded and got off of him.

The third child instantly regretted his answer.

Rei gently put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him until he was laying on his side on the floor. She then laid on her side and scooted close to him. "Is this ok?"

Shinji wasn't sure, but since she wasn't laying on top of him he nodded.

She gave him a warm smile and scooted closer to him, pressing her body against his, and draped his arm over her slender waist. "Is this ok." She draped her arm across his chest.

"Uhhh..I-I'm not sure.." He admitted. "I guess.... It would be ok... if you or I were having a nightmare ..or something...?"

"Only then?" She asked innocently.

He reluctantly nodded and slightly shrugged.

She nodded in understanding then leaned forward and tenderly kissed his cheek. "Is that ok?"

He stiffly nodded. His whole body was beet red and completely stiff. Rei's quest to find out what was appropriate was really turning him on. 

She smiled and nodded too, then gave him another tender kiss very close to the corner of his mouth "Is that ok?"

"I-I-I'm not sure...but...I don't think so" 

She nodded then caressed his lips tenderly. The lips she would never be able to kiss again and whispered. "I love you.... but I guess I don't love you like a sister because I want more."

He swallowed hard and nodded in understanding.

She continued. "But since it is forbidden to do more, I will only interact with you as this society deems appropriate for a sister and a brother...." She sat up and got to her feet, bowed respectfully and walked to her bed. "Good night, oniisan."

Again, the third child swallowed hard and nodded. That's all he could do. He was immobilized by unrequited lust. 

********************************

It was almost morning by the time Ritsuko's eyes opened again. 

Adam smirked at his accomplishment, but he knew that Lillith allowed this soul to come. He wasn't sure why, but he had a feeling that Lillith too wanted the blue light detection disabled, most likely for benefit of Ayanmi Rei. 

Adam caressed the face of the doctor and smiled warmly. He had a feeling that Naoko was going to be pissed with him because of what Gendo did to her, so he decided that he was going to seduce her into complying with his wishes. This way of achieving compliance was used on her once and worked. It worked on her daughter. It was an old trick, but Adam felt, why try an fix what isn't broken.

"Finally my love, I was able to bring you back..." He lied in a seductive voice.

A smile graced those dead blue lips, and she hoarsely whispered lovingly. "Gendo.."

oh this is just too easy Adam inwardly smirk. "I'm here, my love"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still don't own anything that deals with Evangelion. ^_~

Thanks everyone for your reviews. It means sooooooo much to me! ^_~

Love ya lots I really really do

Kimberly


	11. ten

Searching for Eden

The next day, the train had stopped in the city of Kyione. Though the stop was on route, the three hour delay wasn't. After the many complaints because the inconvenience, by the passengers, the head conductor gave all the passengers on board the opportunity to go sight seeing in the bustling city. 

The first and third child used this opportunity to go out and get some food. Earlier, they tried to get some breakfast in the dinning car, but the two siblings were met with hostility from the other passengers. Because of the little scene they caused in the hallway, everyone on the train now knew of their forbidden relationship 

Rei seemed unaffected by the harassment. Unfortunately, Shinji was not so lucky and he suggested, after the head conductor's announcement that they got off the train for a while. 

Shinji and Rei walked down the busy streets. It was a newly made city, flourishing with prosperity, and was named after the mayor/founder's wife. This city was so different from Tokyo-3. There were so many people. The buildings were actually buildings and not armament storages. There were stores, actual stores! A lot of them... Everywhere!

Through the corner of his eye, the third child watched his sister walk beside but slightly in front of him. 

Rei walked at a relaxed pace as she observed her surroundings. She didn't know what it was, but she felt refreshed being here. There were so many people around, bumping into her but not noticing her. She was just another face in the crowd. She loved it. Behind her tinted glasses, her eyes shimmered with curiosity and awe. Her head whipped side to side making the soft black hair of her wig fan around. Unlike Tokyo-3, everything seemed so bright here and everything seemed to demand her attention. 

Rei knew the main reason for her new found fascination with her surroundings was because she was no longer under the influence of the little red pills she was always forced to take. She had stopped taking them over a week ago, and now her system was pretty much clear of those mind controlling downers. That fact both relieved her and frightened her.

Her fears stemmed from the fact that she didn't know life without the pills, *and* because there was a reason why she took those pills. That reason was the same reason she was created to be genetically weak. It was also the same reason they chose *her* to be the heart of the dummy plug system. 

Rei pushed those thoughts aside and focused on the present and her future. With her brother by her side, the first child wanted to experience life and think beyond the realms of NERV. She wanted to be happy... she knew she could be happy... as long as she was with Shinji. 

Her not so subtle hints of happiness brought a smile to Shinji's lips. While living in Toyko-3, he had walked beside Rei a couple of times, and back then, she never seemed interested in anything. Her crimson eyes weren't lifeless, just disinterested. Almost as if she didn't care to explore new things. 

Shinji was the same way, but his apathetic disposition resulted from his constant fear that he would die in the next battle, or fail and then everyone he ever cared about would die. Because of all the battles and the depression he wallowed in, he questioned the point of learning about something new when death could quite possibly keep him from perusing it.

When they arrived at an intersection, Rei spoke and pulled him away from his thoughts.

"Which direction would you like to go, oniisan?"

Shinji shrugged because it really didn't matter and he wasn't used to making his own decisions. For the past year, Asuka or Misato had been making them for him.

Rei was about to decide for them, but then opted to wait until he found the courage to decide and speak out.

The boy's eyes widened nervously when he realized that his imooto-chan was patiently waiting for his decision. "Umm... you chose..." please

"You're my elder brother. You chose." She answered calmly and respectfully. 

Shinji tightly pressed his eyes shut, took a deep breath, and breathed out "Left..?"

The first child smiled warmly and turned to the left.

Surprised by her quick compliance, he stuttered out as he followed her closely. "W-we can go right if want..." 

Rei glanced back at the boy. "Left is fine, Shinji."

The male pilot puffed his chest slightly and beamed a brilliant smile. He wasn't used to *not* getting his ideas shot down or getting his way so easily. He was liking it. He quickened his pace and walked right beside her. "So what do you want to eat?"

"Rice." Rei answered calmly.

"That's it?" Shinji couldn't believe that's all she really wanted.

that's all we can afford She nodded instead of verbally responding.

The boy turned his gaze toward one of the many food vendors on the street. "Mmmm.... that smells good. I think I want some of that." He pointed toward a shabby looking food booth at the end of the block.

The first child's brow furrowed when she looked at where Shinji wanted to eat. "I wouldn't recommend eating there, Shinji"

"Oh.. really? Why not?" He seemed disappointed.

Rei glanced at her brother with bewilderment. She couldn't understand why he couldn't see that what she saw. "It does not look sanitary." 

The wooden booth was filthy. There wasn't a cooler or a fridge to keep the food fresh. The fish, the chicken, and the beef were all mixed together. It looked like a breeding ground for germs that cause food poisoning. 

Inwardly, Shinji didn't agree with his companion. Misato had taken him to worse looking places to eat when she didn't want to cook on her night, but he let the conversation drop without argument. He gave one more longing glance at the booth before he decided to continue looking. 

As they walked through the city they came upon a large commons area where people performed and made speeches. Some were singing, some of the orators were making speeches about various things (like god's wrath and the end of the world), there were mimes, people playing instruments, and food vendors everywhere. However, most of the people were just watching the spectacles displayed for them. It almost looked like a fair of some sort. 

A smile tugged at the corners of Rei's mouth as she observed everything that was going on. This city was like nothing she had ever experienced before.

Shinji tugged on her shirt sleeve. "Rei-chan look over there." He pointed to a group of kids on the other side of the commons.

The first child's gaze followed the direction he was pointing at, and her eyes widened in surprise. In an isolated corner, the kids who Shinji pointed at had wild color hair. Some of them had brilliant green hair, some with pink hair, platinum yellow and a couple with ice blue hair like her own.

Her brow furrowed. "I-is.. that what I look like?" She hoped not. Those kids looked like freaks.

Shinji chuckled softly and shook his head no. Then kinda shrugged. "Well you do stand out... but..." he continued sheepishly. "But... your hair looks natural."

Rei wasn't sure whether his words were a compliment or not. 

The colorful haired teens seemed to sense the fact that they were being observed by the pilots, and with an eerily precision, all of them turned in unison and glared back. 

The pilot of unit 01 didn't notice. He had turned away a second before, and was now looking for a food booth that Rei would find suitable. Maybe we should live here Shinji suggested in a hopeful mental whisper. "Kyione seems like a really cool place to live." He hinted verbally.

Rei's slowly peeled her gaze away from the group of kids. She didn't know why, but those kids seemed....she wasn't sure, but before she could formulate an opinion, Shinji spoke and drew her attention from her thoughts. She shifted her gaze to her brother and nodded. "But...I have already set up all the provisions we would need in New Hakone."

Shinji blushed heavily. "Uhh..I wasn't ... I..mean... Gomen."

She gave him a warm smile and gently placed her hand in his. "It's ok Shinji. If you want to stay here, all you have to do is say 'yes. I doubt it would be hard for us to secure a place to live and job in such a city.'" I hope

He gave her a closed lip smile and nodded. "Yes. I think I want to live here." He tightened the grip on her hand. "I think we would be happy here." He gave an awed look at everything that was going on around them. So many people and no one seem to judge them or anyone else.

Rei smiled at Shinji's happy face and admitted. "I am happy... where you are."

The third child whipped his gaze toward his sister and stared at her with an intense happy expression. "Are you sure you don't mind...?"

Rei gave him an even warmer smile. Shinji's appreciative gaze was overwhelming her. It made her heart ache for him. When she felt her cheeks heating up, she quickly looked away and started to speak. "Location matters not to me... as long as we are together." 

Shinji tightened his grip on her tiny hand and unconsciously pulled her closer to him. He was trying to physically resist the urge to kiss her, but was falling miserably until she said

"Oniisan, I think we should go and find a place to live before we do anything else." She mentally added. and anything you may regret She could feel herself being pulled closer to him. She could tell he wanted to disregard the rules he made for them last night.

oniisan That word always put Shinji back in his place. He nodded in agreement, but didn't let go of her hand. "Wanna ask around for a good place to live?"

She glanced back at him and nodded. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 hour and 34minutes later

"I can't believe this is all we can afford!" Shinji growled as he pulled, with all his strength, to get their front door open. 

Rei slid in through the small opening, took off her glasses and looked around the very small apartment. "My old apartment was worse."

Shinji sighed and gave up on getting the door completely open. He walked in and looked around. "I guess.... but I still think it cost too much." He noticed a roach on the floor and stepped on it. 

Rei shrugged and walked over to the bathroom. She smiled when she noticed the bathtub. "I think I could like it here."

Shinji followed her into the small bathroom. It left much desired in the way of being clean and he wondered why the tub the seemed to please his imooto-chan so much. "Yuck! When was the last time that thing was cleaned."

Rei spun slowly on her heals and faced him "This city... is really expensive... and this is all we can afford, Shinji. However..." She grabbed his wrist and looked at his watch. "If you want, we can still go back to the train. We have time."

The boy scratched the back of his head with his other hand and was about to answer.

"So whadda think?" 

The two teens turned their attention toward an old woman. She was the owner of the decrepit building. She looked dirty, her voice was haggard and rough, probably do to her obvious addiction to smoking. As she glared that the two children, had a cigarette placed behind her ear, one that was almost burned to the filter in her mouth and she was tapping on the pack in her hand getting ready to pull out the next one she was going to smoke. 

The woman blew out a perfect ring of smoke and stared at them impatiently. "Well?"

Rei looked at her brother. Shinji fidgeted nervously before he finally answered. "I think.... we're going to keep looking."

"Ok kid!" The woman responded knowingly. "But you're not going to find a better deal. Especially with an apartment with a private bathroom at this price."

The male pilot bit his lip nervously and gave her back the keys. "Just the same... we are going to continue looking."

The woman snatched the key, turned and walked toward the partially open door. "Don't expect me to hold the apartment for you..... but go ahead an look.." She started to cackle "You'll be back!"

When she left, Shinji turned to Rei "If we run, I think we can get something to eat and still make it to the train"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

20 minutes later and not even 10minutes before the train was due to leave Kyione. 

Shinji had his arm draped over Rei's shoulder. He was trying not to lean any of his weight on her, for he knew that she wouldn't be able to carry it. 

"You were right" The boy groaned out painfully. "I shouldn't have eaten there."

"Please..." Rei huffed as she wrapped her arm around his waist in a futile attempt to make him move faster. "It doesn't matter if I was correct... We must hurry or the train will leave without us!"

Against Rei's gentle pushes, Shinji stopped "Ugh." and cursed his stupidity as he fought the urge to vomit. 

Rei had not to eat there and she told him that the booth, he chose to eat at, was a breading ground for germs, but he didn't listen. And out of respect, because he was the elder, she didn't force him *not* to eat there. 

Sweat beads graced the pilot's face and all over his body. Gawd he wished she would have hit that plate of tempura crab and shrimp out of his hand and forced him to eat rice just like she did. He should have known something was wrong with the food. Rei got her rice from a different booth, but it cost the same as his.

Shinji painfully groaned out. "I think I'm going to die....I hurt so bad."

His statement chilled her to soul and she stared fearfully into his dark blue eyes. "Please don't ever say that again." Rei wanted a life without NERV but she couldn't imagine it without Shinji.

"Sorry..." He guiltily whimpered out before he fell to his knees. 

Rei fell with him. Not purposefully, it was just that he was holding onto her and she didn't have the physical strength to hold him up or keep from falling with him.

"Gomennasi," He groaned as he removed his hands from around her. Once he was on all fours, he painfully breathed out. "Rei...please.. move.. back"

The first child saw his face change from a pasty white to a pasty green and she quickly scooted back. Barely yet thankfully, she got out of the way before he vomited. There was so much... and it smell sooo bad and it went *everywhere*.

When he was finished, he curled up beside his mess and cried out painfully. Shinji could feel every muscle in his body constricting. His stomach was demanding to be emptied, it churned painfully and once again his body broke out in cold sweats.

Rei crawled behind him, took off his book bag, and laid his head on her lap as she soothingly ran her delicate fingers through his sweat soaked hair. 

"I'm so sorry, Rei" the male pilot whimpered as he shivered. "We're not going to make it to the train...and its all my fault."

"It's ok, Shinji" She assured as she gently brushed his cheek and his jaw line with the back of her fingers. Then in a whisper she gently shushed him. "Its okay"

The first child barely noticed the multitude of people who walked past them. Who ignored them, avoided them like a plague, even though her brother looked deathly ill. Rei snorted softly and bitterly. She started to realize that's probably why they were avoided them; she didn't exactly looked healthy herself. Maybe they thought that they were contagious. 

The first child absently looked up when she heard the train whistle blow. It was the announcement of its departure from the station. They were so close to making it; it made her wonder if this was where they were supposed to be, or maybe even... this was where they *should* be instead, of in New Hakone. Perhaps fate was helping them find their Eden... Perhaps the happiness they were searching for was in another large city where no one cared about them.

Rei looked down at her brother when he turned to lay on his other side. He shifted his head in her lap until his face was practically pressed against her flat stomach. Then with pained effort, he tightly wrapped his arms around her slender waist as he curled himself closer to her and in a fetal position. She could tell he was in terrible pain, but she knew it would pass. Rei also knew that in this city, where no one cared, they had each other. They cared for each other, and that it didn't matter where they lived.... 

"As long as we are together." She whispered lovingly as she gently and soothingly ran her finger through his hair.

Shinji heard her soft words and soulful statement, and despite the pain....he smiled. together...yes..as long as we're together.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still don't own anything that belongs to Evangelion. 

I would like to thank Lord Deathsythe and Random for helping cope through the wake of our country's tragedy. I know I told you before but... I don't know how I would have made it out your comforting words and your understanding I thank you so very much....

God please help the families of the victims. God please help us all as we mourn.

God bless America.

And If I may never have the opportunity to say this again....

I love ya lots.. I really really do

Kimberly 


	12. eleven

Searching for Eden

A pleased smile graced the pseudo commander's lips. "Finally, it is done!"

Dark eyes looked upon him, in hopes for a little praise. A smile tugged at the mustached covered lips and a deep raspy voice said. "Yes my love, I have disengaged the magi as you wished." The deceased SEELE solider that was controlled by Naoko soul, stood up and started to walking toward the commander. "Now we can be together...just like you promised!"

Adam's brow arched as he watched the middle aged man walk toward him with surprising speed. The angel had to retrieve a replacement vessel for Naoko's soul. Ritsuko's body was no longer satisfactory. The scent of the decaying flesh and the stiffness of its joints made her useless. He had to venture out and retrieve a more suitable vessel. Adam found it in a thirty something year old man. 

"Uh...Naoko...." A cruel smirk played on his lips as he almost laughed out his words. "I'm sorry, but... I don't swing that way."

He/she stopped dead in her tracks. "Huh?"

Adam pointed at her and gave her a sarcastic knowing look. "Your vessel...it's male."

The doctor's hands quickly reached up and patted her flat chest as if she were expecting breast to be there "If you didn't..." She shook her/his head and started again "Why didn't you find me a female replacement if you knew this was going to be an issue?" 

"The body I chose for you is sufficient for the job I needed you to do." He answered flatly. He noticed the hurt expression on the man's face and smirked. "Did you actually believe that I wanted--"

She interrupted and spat out. "So Alpha was correct! You were just using me, AGAIN!" She couldn't believed it, but yet she could because she was forewarned. "Just like last time!" She spat out bitterly. "Well, I won't be your useless *old hag* any more, Gendo!" 

"Alpha...?" The angel took off his tinted glasses and narrowed his crimson eyes. "What did that b*tch tell you?!"

Akagi gasped in fear when she saw his red eyes, then regained her composure. "Wouldn't you like to know...." She laughed triumphantly. "Adam"

She was warned about this too, but she didn't want to believe it. She didn't want to believe that Gendo was dead. It hurt too much to know that he was gone. Even now, as she looked into his face, she was not seeing the man she loved. She breathed out angrily and a cruel smirked played on the dead solder's lips. Naoko was now glad that she followed Alpha's instructions on what to do with the magi. 

The angel was seething. He knew Alpha allowed the doctor to be summoned for a reason, now he just wondered what that reason was. But before he could say anything, Naoko spoke. 

"She won't let you sacrifice Omega like you did the others... Like you did Kaworu!" The doctor crossed her arms defiantly. "I won't let you either...for I now understand Alpha's sorrow. You killed my daughter!!"

"What I do with Omega is my own business!!!" He growled out as his eyes burned brilliantly with divine energy. This was a good sign. The alarm didn't blare, so he could use his powers without alerting the world. "I'm only going to ask you once, what did you do to the magi?" 

She/he smirked. "And if I refuse to tell you...What are you going to do?...." " Naoko turned her back to him and stared at her precious magi, then continued with a sarcastic laugh. "Kill me?"

Instantly the soldier's body fell to the ground. Adam had released his hold on her soul and returned her to the ark, which is Alpha. "Damn her!"

Adam couldn't stand Alpha, or better recognized as Lillith. She was his first wife. She was so disobedient, head strong and argumentative. Unlike his beloved wife Eve, Alpha was made from the same materials as Adam and *not* from Adam, like his favorite wife. Alpha honestly felt that she was *equal* to him because of this fact. Equal to *him*!!! In his opinion, that was absurd, obscene even! His angelic first wife bore many children while they were together, while he could only bare three with Eve. After his last child with Alpha, which was Omega, or in this world Rei. He petitioned the Maker to force his first wife to be more obedient towards him.

Alpha was outraged when learned of her husbands request; she refused to be submissive and chose to flee Eden with all of her children. Thus leaving Adam alone in Eden with his beloved second family. Alpha and her children, then lived in the land of angels. This place was called Shin. Alpha took all her children' even though, she knew that once they left Eden, there was no way to return to that paradise. Eden was a special gift given to her husband by the maker, because he was favored above all other angels. 

Adam was saddened when his family left, but not by much. He had Eve and that's all he needed. However, when Adam and Eve were kicked out of Eden, they were not allowed to live in Shin. They were sent to the land of Lilllium (earth) for Eve was mortal and her children who were angels, were half breeds. Different from all other angels in Shin. Mortals had free will, and since they were half mortal they had free will too. Their difference meant that they could choose...choose to refuse the will of the Maker.

It was no real surprise to Adam when he found out that it was his youngest daughter that gave up her true form to combine with Alpha, so that they could retrieve him and bring him back to the land of Shin. She was one of the most powerful Angels, and like the other angels, Omega never refused an order from the Maker. So when Alpha and Omega combined, they became an extremely powerful warrior angel and answered by the name of Lillith.

Alpha and Adam were equal in strength, so she knew that she needed an advantage. She also knew that Adam had hidden his youngest child within him. So therefore, he would have the advantage of his and his son's combined powers. But because Kaworu wasn't a pure angel, Lillith didn't expect Adam to be of equal power again. Nor, did she expect for Adam to try and fuse with her. It was at that moment did she truly understand his true plan. He wanted to kill all the lillium so he would be free of his punishment-curse of eternal life.

That's why when Lillith was picked up by Gendo's research team, Alpha convinced the young commander to create a vessel for Omega. Alpha knew that Adam would try to fuse with her again, but she also knew that without Omega, Adam would never accomplish his plan. 

Without true understanding to Alpha's reasoning, Gendo complied and tried to clone a body for Omega using purely Alpha's DNA. The creatures created never looked human. No matter how many different ways they manipulated the genes, Omega's new forms would always take the unique form of an Angel. It wasn't until the death of Yui Ikari did answer to their problems with A.E. manipulation reveal itself. In extreme sorrow, and in the desire to fulfill his wife's last wish, Gendo combined Yui's genetic pattern with Alpha's. It almost didn't work. Alpha's chemical make-up dissolved almost all traces of Yui's DNA, only leaving about 3% left, only enough to give Omega a human form. That why she had and exhibited so many inhuman characteristics. Omega was given pills to suppress her divine memories and her powers. Obedience wasn't that much of an issue. Angels were created to be obedient; although, she was given more pills to ensure that she obeyed the will of NERV's commanding officers. She was also given a lillium name and raised believing that she was human. But she wasn't. Only 3% of genetic-make up was mortal DNA. That wasn't even enough to make her related to the very person she gained her form from. However, it was enough to give her free will. Now, that was an unexpected predicament. Omega denied her true name and her true self and claimed herself as Ayanami Rei. Even though, Alpha was saddened by Rei's proclamation, she allowed it. She allowed her daughter to keep her humanity because it was for the best. As long as Ayanami Rei stayed hidden, the 3rd impact would never occur. 

The pseudo commander stalked toward Alpha's confinement. He didn't care who saw him because he could now use his AT field to protect himself. And if anyone who dared to attack him, they felt the deadly wrath of his divine power. 

It wasn't long before he was once again faced with his *ex* She was back to her original form. He was glad; the combined form of Alpha and Omega was terribly frightening. In his opinion, Alpha in her original form was very attractive. In truth, he still loved her. It was just a shame that her stubborn, independent, personality always got in the way, which made him can't stand to be around her. 

"What are you up to?" He growled in his native language, the tongues of angels.

Because she had no mouth, she communicated via telepathy, but even without a mouth, Adam could tell that she was smirking for her cleverness. She answered him with her usual beatific voice. "I allowed Naoko to disengage the magi. Isn't that what you wanted?"

The didn't answer her question and growled suspiciously. "Why?"

She paused before answering truthfully and arrogantly "So *I* can use my powers as well." Her seven eyes sparkled triumphant mischief. "You will never find them." She stated absolutely. "I have made sure of it." She could feel his AT field burn the air around them in his anger, but she was not afraid. She knew that he would never harm, he needed her for his plan. 

"Oh, I'll find them!" He assured sadistically. He had an idea what Alpha was up to, but he was confident that he would find him.

She laughed. She knew that he was bluffing, but then again, he may have truly believed his foolish claim. None-the-less, it didn't matter. Alpha was using almost all her powers, not to escape the confines of her cross imprisonment, she was using her powers to cloak the first and third children. No longer will Adam be able to summon Rei's soul or harass their dreams with false spirits. Because of Alpha, the two pilots could stand directly in front of Adam and he_ wouldn't_ even_ see_ them. 

They were free. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In another part of Japan, the newly made city of Kyione

It was now evening and the setting sun cast an soft orange glow over the bustling city. Inside a 15 story archaic building, two teenagers settled into their new small apartment. One was paying homage to the porcelain gods (vomiting) and the other was in the small living area counting the rest of their resources.

After Rei counted up the rest of their funds, she realized that they only had a little under a hundred dollars, in yen, left. This was not good. The first child weighed the importance and the need of eating a meal everyday. She figured with her constitution, she could go without eating every other day. She momentarily glanced at her brother, then returned her gaze to the small pile of money. She wondered if he could do the same. They really didn't have enough money to buy enough food for two people for a whole month, plus buy the necessities needed for their apartment.

They would have had *more* money, but once Shinji found out there was an apartment on a higher floor and in better condition, he adamantly refused to live in the apartment that they were showed earlier. His reasons for not wanting to live in that place was because of the filth, and something about roaches eating your eyelashes when you sleep. Rei gave him a queer look but didn't question his logic. He was ill, but most of all, he was the elder. So Rei forked up the extra cash and paid for the nicer apartment. But when they got there, they found out it wasn't that much nicer. The door worked and it was clean and there were no roaches, but that was the only difference. The only positive difference, that is. What Rei noticed first was that their new apartment was smaller, much smaller. The other apartment was already smaller than the one she had in Tokyo-3, and this one was even smaller than that! It was about 150sqft. She felt that they were tricked by that old woman. 

"That old hag!"

Shinji turned his head from the toilet and looked at her from the small bathroom, then groaned out. "Did you say something, Rei?"

She turned around to look at him and guiltily shook her had no. Then turned back to her task.

The first child took a deep breath and released that train of thought. It was too late to get out of the lease, so the only thing she was accomplishing by thinking about it was making herself upset. She recounted the money and mentally hoped that by doing so it would have multiplied some how. They would need a lot more than this if they were going to make it to the end of the month, not to mention paying next months bills. 

Rei was pulled out of her musings by the sounds of Shinji brushing his teeth. This was actually the second time he did this. He did it about an hour earlier when he thought his stomach was empty. She glanced at him. He looked almost a hundred percent better. She was glad because she was worried about his well being. So, not wanting him to worry about their lack of funds, she quickly put the rest of the money away and prepared herself for sleep. 

Shinji tried not to look in his sisters direction as he padded across the small and only room of the apartment. He felt too guilty to meet her gaze right now. It was his fault that they were stranded in this city and had to rent in this decrepit apartment building. The apartment itself wasn't worse than Rei's old one, but it was smaller. Shinji just hoped Rei didn't realize that this apartment was smaller than the one they'd seen earlier today. He took her not mentioning it as a good sign to her being oblivious of that fact.

The building they now lived in was built long before the 2nd impact. It was designed when Japan had a problem with over population. Each apartment was made extra small to accommodate as many tenants as possible.

Rei could tell that Shinji was doing his best to make himself invisible as he prepared himself for sleep, so she played along and did not bother him with uncomfortable questions. Actually, she left him alone because she had no clue of what to say to him, for he was sad and in need of comfort. Comfort that she didn't know how to give. It wasn't like she was known for her people skills. So, she fluffed her book bag until it was comfortable enough to be a make-shift pillow and laid on the hard floor to get some sleep. It was a long day and she had expended a lot of energy being his crutch, when walking him back to this side of town, and up the 8 flights of stairs to get to their apartment. Needless to say she was exhausted.

When Rei laid down, that's when Shinji stole a glance at her and mentally apologized. He knew how physically weak she was, and how hard it was for her to practically carry him. The pilot was just grateful that she didn't complain, not even once. He wouldn't have been able to bare it if she had complained; he already felt like a failure for getting sick and trapping them in this city. He fluffed his book bag and rested himself on the hard floor with his back facing her. 

~~

Rei woke up around 2 am because of the sounds of Shinji's thrashings and whimpering. He was having another nightmare. It wasn't as bad as the one he had on the train. It was calmer, like the ones he had in the car right after they escaped NERV. The first child watched him for a good 15minutes before she decided to go to him. She remembered that when she was scared, she found comfort in his arms. Also, the last time he had a nightmare, he calmed down when she embraced him. So with her decision made, she slowly crawled over to him and embraced his slender waist and rested her head on his chest. 

Shinji's eyes immediately snapped open, and his body tensed up when he felt someone's weight on top of him. Moving as little as possible, he looked down and saw Rei. He gasped sharply. Why was she still torturing him like this? A guy only had so much will power to do the right thing and even less when he didn't agree with the 'right thing.' 

She tilted her head back, looked up at him, and answered his unspoken question. "You were having a nightmare." 

Not understanding her logic, he blinked, hard.

So she clarified. "You said that we can sleep together if one of us were having a nightmare."

Her wording made him blush. Shinji swallowed hard, pushing down his forbidden attraction, and nodded in conformation. The nightmares did not return that night, for Shinji was not able to go back to sleep. He spent the rest of the night fighting his conscience in the battle to stay honorable and not steal a kiss from her while she slept. Then to make it an awkward situation worse, Rei was a snuggler when she slept. 

Needless to say, it was a long night for the pilot of unit 01. 

~~~~~~~

During the first few weeks they lived in Kyione, Rei and Shinji looked for employment. It was a necessity. After they bought a months supply of ramen noodles, which was on clearance and only about 10cent a piece, a pot and other necessary kitchen and apartment items, one full-size futon mattress, because that was on clearance too and because it was the best deal they came by, but mostly because after sleeping on the hard floor for two and a half weeks they wanted a mattress, they barely had any funds left. They only had about 36 dollars in yen to last them to the end of the month. Not nearly enough. 

Shinji couldn't understand why it was so difficult to find a job. There were so many places of employment in this growing, congested city. He figured that maybe it was their age that was keeping them from being hired. However, he was determined to not allow that to discourage him. He had to get a job, he wanted to take care of Rei. So, after weeks of putting in applications, Shinji was the one who actually found a job first.

He opened the door to their small apartment. Panting heavily, because he was out of breath from running up the eight flights of stairs, he called out. "Tadaima Rei-chan!" It was about 8pm, so he knew she would be home from her long day of job searching. 

The young angel turned from the stove and stared quizzically at her brother. She wondered why he was in such a good mood.

He ran over to her and panted out excitedly. "I got a job!"

Rei gave him one of her very rare, brilliantly happy smiles and clasped her hands against her chest. That was the best news ever! They were out of money. Each took half of what was left of the original funds, just incase they needed to pay for public transportation while they searched for a job. Unfortunately, they did and the busses weren't exactly cheap.

Shinji quickly squeezed past her, in the extremely small kitchen, and turned down the heat on the stove. The foamy noodle water was bubbling over. It surprised him to find out that Rei couldn't cook. She couldn't even cook noodles. He asked her why and how that was possible, since she lived alone for all those years. She told him that when she was reawakened, the domestic type of information she acquired during the life of the II was not deemed important by the commander. So it wasn't replaced in her memory. Also, after she awakened, she spent most of her time at the hospital or at NERV, so she didn't cook for herself. She didn't mention that she wasn't supposed to be alive long enough to reacquire that info.

The boy looked into the pot and noticed the overly soft noodles. He didn't like it like that but Rei did, so he never commented on it. He saw her get her portion of the meal. He couldn't see how she could fill her stomach on such a small serving, but then again she was very thin. 

Rei took out a small portion for herself, then put the powder that was in the season packets into the rest of the noodles for Shinji. She really would have liked to eat more, but she never did. She wanted to make sure that Shinji was healthy and never hungry. It was bad enough that they could only afford to eat one meal a day. She didn't want Shinji to suffer anymore because of it. 

The male pilot dumped his noodles into his bowl and put the pot into the sink. Rei walked with her bowl over to the small window. Shinji followed closely. This was quickly becoming a nightly ritual. Eating under the cool breeze of their only window.

Shinji knew that Rei wasn't going to start the conversation. She talked a lot more than she used to, but she was still wary about starting conversations. She wasn't confident in her people skills. Whatever the minimum about of people skills the II had, she no longer possessed. The commander didn't deem them important enough to give them back to her. 

Shinji was both saddened by that information and glad. Rei may have had to start from scratch, but she was more open and talkative because of it. She had to ask questions to learn what was appropriate in the 'real world' and she wanted to learn. Shinji was more than happy to teach her. It made him feel good about himself. Also, teaching her was bringing him out of his shell of self isolation. 

The male pilot was starving, so he shoveled a large portion of his food into his mouth before he explained how he got the job. He swallowed down his mouthful and began. 

"I was just about to give up for the day, but I wasn't discouraged!" He assured. "But I *was* tired, so I sat down against this building and rested."

(What actually happened was that he gave up and was mentally screaming that he was a failure, and that because of him, Rei was going to be living on the streets when they couldn't come up with next months rent. So, he fell back against a building slid to the ground, and started crying.)

Shinji continued. "So there I was, sitting and minding my own business, right, and this guy walks out of the building and notices me. He reaches into his pocket and gives me some money. I guess he thought I was a beggar or something!"

(Shinji *was* begging. He couldn't find a job and they desperately needed some money... what else was there for him to do?) 

Shinji continued with his tale. "Then he told me where I could go and find a job if I needed one."

"Did you keep the money?" Rei asked hopefully as she demurely ate her noodles.

The boy nodded as he reached into his pocket and put the money on the floor between them. "So, I went to where the guy told me to go and I met this guy named Isoo. I told him why I was there and why I really need this job. At first, he said I was to young, but I assured him that I could do the work and that I'd always be on time, and that I wouldn't complain! No matter what job I had!" 

(He actually said all that stuff, but accompanied it with an outrageous lie about his parents dying and him having to be stuck with the duty of taking care of his terminally ill twin sister. But he would *never* tell Rei that part.) 

He stuffed his face with more noodles, then said with a muffled mouthful. "I'm mean how hard can working construction be? I was an Eva pilot after all!" 

Rei nodded in agreement.

He was about to continue then paused, before he asked. "Did you find a job today?"

She bowed her head, making her bangs cover her eyes as she shook her head no. She didn't want to make an excuse for her failures, but she admitted. "I think I am being discriminated against."

"Really? How so?"

She took a deep breath and looked into his dark blue eyes. "They keep asking me if I am suffering from some sort of illness, and even after I assure them that I am not, they do not appear to believe me."

Shinji nodded in understanding to her plight. With her black wig, dark glasses, pale skin and ethereal movements, she did look sick. He was just glad that when she was at home, she shed the disguise. "Don't worry about them ok, Rei....They don't know what they are talking about." He said that even though he used her appearance to get him a job. He knew that if his boss should ever meet Rei, he would believe that he was honestly taking care of his ill sister. 

She nodded in agreement with what he said and went back to eating.

He watched her eat for a minute. She was so proper and gentle. Her movements helped him make his decision. He timidly put his bowl down on the floor; even though, it was not empty.

"Is something wrong with your food, Shinji?"

He shook his head no. "I just ..." He took a deep breath to gather his courage. "Rei... I was thinking....that maybe..." Losing his courage, he raked his hands through his hair, looked away from her, and became very interested with his food.

Timidly she inquired. "Are you upset with me?...Because I could not find a job as well?"

His eyes snapped wide and he frantically waved his hands to say no. He could see her fear of disappointing him in her eyes, so he quickly confessed to ease her worries. "No, it's not that it's... It's just that I was ....I was wondering if you would ...*not* work."

She quirked a brow.

Shinji continued. "I mean... with this job, I will be making enough to cover all our bills..."

"But we can have extra money if I work and---."

He sighed in defeat as he interrupted. "I don't want you to work, Rei."

The first child was confused. She couldn't understand why he didn't want her to work. She put her bowl down and asked ."Why?" 

"Because...." He took another deep breath and closed his eyes. "Because I want to take care of you."

"We can take of each other." She informed logically. In her opinion, it wasn't fair that one person carried all the responsibility. It made more sense that she worked too, and shared the bills. 

Shinji balled up the jean material of his pants legs, in tight fists, and shook his head. She didn't understand and he wasn't sure if he had the courage or the words to explain his reasons to her. "You've already done so much.... too much..." He stopped, this part of the confession was shredding whatever pride he had left. He felt like he did nothing to aid their escape from Tokyo-3. He felt like he only made things worse. In his own eyes, he was a failure. 

She waited patiently for him to continue his explanation. She could tell that he was not used to voicing his opinion or his beliefs. She could also tell that whatever he had to say was very important to him. 

A few minutes later it came

"I'm the oldest and I'm the male. It's my duty--"

Ok, she didn't agree where this was heading, so she interrupted. "Shinji, I have worked my whole existence." That she was sure of. All experiments that were conducted on her, were deeply engrained in her memory. Every painful and cruel experiment and Eva test handled under the supervision of Ritsuko Akagi was in her memory. 

"Yes, I know..." He paused then continued still not looking at her. "I just feel that it is time for you to rest."

"But--"

He interrupted her. "To know that I am providing for you...." He dared and looked at her. "It makes me feel good about myself, Rei." There, it was out. It was all about the ego. "I'm the male, I should work!"

Rei blinked hard and responded softly. "I never knew that you were so traditional, Shinji."

He bowed his head down in embarrassment. He really shouldn't feel this way. For the last year, he worked with and under very powerful women. Two of the saviors of the world were girls. One of those female saviors was the same person that he had a forbidden love toward, and was sitting directly across from. In all honesty, he didn't mind women working or having a female boss... It was just that when his father sent him away, his guardians were very deep set in their Japanese tradition. It was how he was raised, but he could tell by Rei's reaction that she didn't share his archaic beliefs. How could she, she was raised in NERV. He felt ashamed for making such a request .

"Gomen, Rei." He remained in the bowed head position. " If you want to work .. I won't try and stop you."

She could tell that Shinji wanting to take care of her was very important to him, but they needed the money. She stared at his dejected demeanor and wondered if seeing his self-confidence sore was worth more than having extra yen lying around. She made her decision. "What will I do with myself all day?"

He looked up at her, relieved and happily shocked that she agreed. "Umm you can go... to school!"

She frowned at that idea. "Without you?" 

"Okay.. you don't have to go to school. You can go to the library instead... and read!" He stared at her with hope that this idea will fare better than his last. "You like to read don't you?"

She nodded slowly, but that's not what she wanted to do all day. The thought of having tons of idle time did not sit well with her, but she didn't want to hurt him by voicing her opinion. She could tell that for now, her not working meant a lot to her brother. 

Shinji smiled triumphantly . "You can explore the city too. I'm sure that there are a lot of things to do, and you can tell me about them!"

Rei gave him a blank expression. She accepted the command of not working, but she couldn't force herself to pretend to be excited about it. In all her memories, she could not pick a time where she was not required to do something. Not that she was always busy, but there was never a day where she was not required to fulfill some type of task. Now that she wasn't required to do anything, her time was her own. It was hers to do with, as she pleased. She wasn't sure if she was ready to be the master of her fate *and* time yet. The thought of it was too new and scary.

Shinji quickly picked up his bowl and ate the rest of his food. With an extra pep in his step, he made the five needed steps to be in the kitchen and quickly washed his bowl, the pot, and his chopsticks. "I think I'm going to go to bed now. I need to get up early tomorrow for work!"

Rei ate the rest of her food and went to wash her bowl, chopsticks, and wiped up the small mess around the stove. They both got ready for bed. Shinji talked about his job a bit more before they settled down. Rei took the right side of the full sized mattress and Shinji took the left. There was enough room between the two to fit an extra person. 

They always started off like that. They didn't have enough money to buy two mattresses, so the agreed on having one. They also agreed on staying on their respected side. But by the middle of the night, one of the pilots would suffer from a nightmare and the other would comfort them.

Shinji would suffer from nightmares the most. He tried so hard during the day to hide his sorrow from his sister. He didn't want her to worry about him. He didn't want to cry in front of her, so he forced a happy, positive disposition on himself when he was around her. But at night... he could never hide his true feelings and the sorrow of knowing that almost everyone he ever cared about was killed in the war at NERV. At night, he couldn't hide from the fear that they might try in find them, and kill Rei because she an angel. So while he slept, his fears and his sorrows plagued him. 

That's when Rei would wake up from her slumber and comfort him. Although, she too suffered from nightmares. She was scared of Adam. She was scared that he would summon her soul again or force her into starting the 3rd impact. So when she embraced Shinji to comfort him, she was also comforting herself.

She assumed that Shinji knew that she suffered from nighttime terrors, because sometimes she would wake up in his embrace. Neither one ever discussed their dreams. The just woke up every morning, untangled themselves from each others limbs, and went about their own business like nothing happened. They also tried not the think about the fact that sharing a bed and waking up in each others arms, in varying positions of intimacy, was not quelling their desire to have more than a sibling relationship. 

Rei laid on her side looking at Shinji. Shinji laid on is his looking at Rei. The invisible barrier of self-restraint, and the desire to stay within the realms of what was socially acceptable, was the only thing keeping them from being together before the nightmares began. 

Shinji swallowed hard. Rei was so beautiful to him and her gentle personality complemented him so perfectly. He loved her so much. Even at his young and inexperienced age, he knew that he would never find someone as perfect for him as his sister was, and everyday it became harder to follow the rules he made on the train. "Oyasumi, Rei-chan."

The first child could see a longing in her brothers eyes. She was sure that it mirrored her own. She wished that Shinji could see beyond their genetic ties. She loved him, she would always love him, even if she wasn't allowed to. She just silently wished that he would recall those rules that kept them apart, but she also knew that she would never ask him to do such a thing. He wanted a normal life, and taking his imooto as his koibito wouldn't be classified as normal. Well, not anymore it wouldn't. So she resigned in returning the nighttime pleasantries. "Good night, Shinji." 

Both teens then closed their eyes and prayed that their nightmare would come quickly tonight, for their arms and heart ached for the chance to hold and embrace each other. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"ahem"

****

Kimberly: "Huh? What you have a question? Okay. You in the back, yeah, the one with your hand up." 

****

Guy in the back with his hand up: "Why did Rei call Shinji Lillium In chapter 9 if Eve came from Adam's flesh, and Eve was the first mortal. Shouldn't she have said Addium?"

****

Kimberly: "Hmmm... That's a good question." I scratch my head and mumble. "You sure were paying attention...." I sigh as I open the _Great book of FANFICTION_ and pray there's an answer, as I flip through the pages. I skip the chapter that discusses So Happy Together, dog-ear What if .. things were different, and turn to the chapter that says Searching for Eden. Thankfully, I quickly find my answer. "Ahhh.. YES!! *cough ahem* It says here that Cain... You know one of Adam's sons, the one that killed Abel... Well it says that he had married one of Alpha's daughters... and.. uhhh.. her name was...uhh.. Lilly.... yeah Lilly.....hmmm, isn't that interesting." I look up from the book and give a sheepish grin, then quickly looked back at the book after I receive a strange look from the guy in the back ,and continue reading. "Yes, it says that they had A LOT of children which actually populated the world...So they named all mortals Lillium in honor of her.. not... Lillith....oh wow! Learn something new everyday! " I look up and try to give a convincing grin. "See..." I point meekly at the book. "It... works out.... perfectly."

****

Guy in the back with his hand no longer up: ::sarcastically:: "Yeah, whatever" 

****

Kimberly: "Are there any other questions?"

A girl in the front row waves frantically.

****

Kimberly: "Uhh... you in the front. Do you have a question?"

****

Girl in the front row: (she stands and brushes wrinkles out of her clothes) "So Rei only has 3% of Yui's DNA, are you saying that Rei and Shinji aren't really related?"

****

Kimberly: "No. They are related because Rei has Yui's DNA...BUT!...Scientifically speaking, there is not enough DNA in Rei's genetic make-up to genetically bind them. So, scientifically speaking, no they are not related."

****

Girl in the front of the row: (claps happily and give a hopeful starry eyed look) "Are you going to disclose that information to Shinji and Rei?...You know.. So they can go all the way?"

****

Kimberly: (smirks darkly) "Maybe...maybe not. I haven't decided." Mentally thinks sure I haven't decided.. mawhahahaha! "Any other questions?" 

Guy with thick coke bottle glasses raises his hand.

****

Kimberly: "Yes, what is your question?"

****

Guy with thick coke bottle glasses: What do you mean *you haven't decided*? You said this was a romance right! How are you going to make this into a romance if they think they are siblings!"

****

Kimberly: "I guess... you'll just have to trust me. But if love is true, don't you think that it can over look all _perceived_ faults and ...taboos?

****

class: WHAT?!!!!!! 

****

Kimberly: "Any more questi--"

A room full of hands snap up in unison.

****

Kimberly: (purposely looks at the ceiling to avoid all other questions) "Okay, looks like no one else has anymore questions. I guess that wraps up this chapter. Well, so long everyone!" I Quickly grab the *book* and bolt for the door. Before I leave completely I yell out. "And before I forget, I do not own anything that deals with Evangelion!!" 

^_^

No for real, you got a question about the fic? I got all the answers. All you got to do is ask ^_~

I love ya lots I really really do

Kimberly


	13. twelve

Searching for Eden

From a deep sleep to completely awake, Rei's crimson eyes snapped open. Like every morning, she was the first to hear the soft beeping alarm. Slowly, her eyes focused on the tiny, blinking, red light in Shinji's wrist watch. It was time for her brother to wake up and go to work. She felt her heart twinge with sadness but loosened her embrace on him. 

A few seconds later, she felt him stir. 

When Rei moved, Shinji slowly woke up. Although, he was still in a thick sleepy haze, so it took a few more seconds before he finally heard his alarm. The third child groaned as he reached over his sister and picked up his watch to cut it off. He then just stared at the metal time piece and tried to will it go to back in time for another five minutes. Five minutes. Just five more minutes. That's all he was asking for! It took about half the time he was wishing for, for him to realize that his mental efforts were useless. So he gently untangled himself from Rei's embrace and sat up. 

A soft moan of protest escaped the first child's lips, when the security of his weight was no longer on top of her, but she let him go without hesitation, then curled up beside him. In a sleepy daze, Shinji patted her shoulder and rubbed on her upper arm to comfort her. He knew how she felt, for he hated waking up for the exact same reason. It was only in their sleep, because of their nightmares, did they allow themselves to find physical comfort in each other. However, it was never anything sexual. It was only just a touch, a caress, an embrace, and the security they felt to be in the arms of the one they loved. Even if they were never allowed to speak of that love again. 

Last night was particularly hard for Shinji. He barely got any sleep, for he kept remembering and dreaming about Misato's death and the way her hot blood felt when it splattered all over his face. It was also last night when he and Rei finally decided to talk about their dreams. It was awkward because he didn't want to burden her with his sorrows because she suffered with her own sorrows and her own fears. Rei was still terrified that her soul would be stolen. And they both were afraid that NERV or SEELE would find them and take her away. It didn't help matters that the outcome of the 'war' wasn't reported in the news. It was as if it never happened. Although, the first and third child expected that. The business of NERV was highly classified and most people didn't even know that the organization existed. After his confession things became even more awkward because Rei did not know how to verbally comfort him, but her gentle embrace and her listening ear was a comfort in it self. Shinji wasn't sure if talking about his dreams made him feel better or worse, but not talking about them wasn't helping at all. So until something better came around, they were going to try communicating their fears to each other. 

For about five minutes, Shinji just sat there on the mattress and stared blankly at the wall. His body would not allow him to do much else. He was too tired and too sore. Everyone of his muscles felt like knotted up lead, and his brain felt like mush. Absently, he turned his gaze toward the window and noticed dark sky. The sun hadn't even risen yet, but if he was going to make it to work on time, he was going to have to leave in a few minutes. 

It had took only three days of his first week for the pilot of unit 01 to realize that working construction was much harder, physically, than piloting an Eva. It was only his sheer will and the desire to keep his sister from living on streets that kept him performing his job, everyday, without complaint. However, by the end of the second week, he was becoming more used to the physical strains of hard labor. 

The boy rolled over until he carried his weight on his hands and knees. After a few moments of rest, he used every once of his energy to stand up. He grimaced. His body was soooo sore. That realization was the only coherent thing his mind kept repeating. He bit his bottom lip so that he wouldn't make any noise that would alarm his sister. He told her that he wanted to be "the man"; he wanted to be the one who went to work, so he felt that he should be a man about his bodily pain and not gripe about it. 

When Shinji went into the bathroom, Rei took off her sleeping tee shirt, went to the closet and picked out a pair of jeans and a clean tee shirt to wear. She was getting ready because she was going to walk Shinji to work. It was a long walk, almost an hour, because he worked on the other side of town, She didn't mind though. Rei usually stayed on that side of town until he got off work because everything was on that side of town; the library, the commons, the... city. 

Shinji was glad Rei stayed on the "nice" side while he worked. He didn't want her to be alone and stay in the apartment all day, and he really didn't want her walking around alone in the sector where they lived . The area in which they lived was run down and crime infested. He worried about her being alone there because he felt that she was gentle and delicate. 

Rei reminded him that when she lived Tokyo-3 she used to live in the run down sector of town, but Shinji countered her statement by reminding her that although it was run down, it wasn't crime infested. 

After dressing, Rei sat back on the futon mattress and waited for Shinji to come out of the bathroom. She had bathed last night, but she needed to brush her teeth and wash her face. She didn't have to wait long before he came out. Like his sister, he showered last night, so all he had to do was brush his teeth and wash his face before he dressed. Before walking into the bathroom, she glanced at him as he walked over to the open window to pick up his dark blue tee shirt and blue jeans from the window sill. 

Shinji noticed that his clothes were still damp from when Rei washed them last night, but that was ok. He was just grateful that they were clean. He only had four pairs of pants and shirts, so he only used one to work in. If it was up to him, he would have worn them dirty everyday, he didn't care. He was too tired and sore to care. But Rei insisted that they had to be cleaned, and she said that since she really had nothing else to do, she might as well take care of him to the best of her ability. Shinji never let her do much though, after she cooked and washed his clothes, by hand, he always felt too guilty to allow her to do much else. 

Slowly, the boy pulled the damp shirt over his head and put it on. 

Rei was just finishing up and rinsed the soap from her face then patted her face dry with the bottom of her shirt. When she walked out of the bathroom, she noticed her brothers slow and labored movements. She could tell that he was in a lot of pain even though he never voiced it. His job was to clear the land for rebuilding. So he had to gather and move rocks and broken cement blocks from the old part of the city and load them into trucks for detransportation. The company he worked for had machines to move the bulk of the heavy rocks, although almost all the other rocks and cement blocks were put into tow away trucks by hand. 

"Ready?" Shinji asked her with a smile.

Rei nodded. It was time to go. 

The two 'twins' actually made good time that morning. Rei tried out a short cut she found during one of her many explorations of the city. The two then played the game of "Trust." That was were Shinji would close his eyes, and allow Rei to be lead him, by the hand, the rest of the way there. They started this game a couple of days past, when he was lagging behind and *sleepwalking* It was only by chance did Rei turn around and grab his wrist, right before he walked into the street and if front of a car. That incident terrified her and she told him that if he wanted the close his eyes on the way to work, then please allow *her* to be his eyes. After a lot of gomen's, Shinji placed his hand in hers and allowed himself to be led. But now the reason Shinji allowed this game, was not to catch up on much need rest. It was just an excuse to be able to hold her hand. 

"We're here." Rei informed calmly. 

Shinji's dark blue eyes fluttered open. He looked across the street and saw the metal gate that separated the work area from the rest of the city. Behind that gate, he worked from 7:30am to 6:00pm everyday, seven days a week. He didn't have to; he could have worked less, but he had to make enough money for the rent that was due next week. Hopefully, after this weeks pay check, he would have enough. Unfortunately that's all he would have enough for. He knew that the lights were going to be cut off for at least a few days before he could earn enough money to turn them back on. 

Rei wanted to work too. She hated that he worked so much, but he was adamant about being the 'man.' He wanted her to rest. She worked her whole existence, so he felt that she deserved a vacation. Moreover, the more he spent time with her the less he wanted her to do physical labor. Because of her ethereal and proper movements, Rei seemed so fragile and gentle in his eyes. She reminded him of a...princess of sorts and Shinji didn't want his princess working. 

Rei, on the other hand, humored him but secretly looked for a job. She hated that Shinji had to work so hard to take care of her. The only reason she wasn't working right now was because no one would hire her. She blamed and cursed her physical appearance for it.

The two sat beside each other, on edge of the sidewalk. Shinji crossed his arms and rested them on his perched up knees, then buried his head in them. He had about 15 minutes before he had to punch in. Rei stretched her legs out and crossed them at the ankles. It wasn't long before she started playing with the long blades of grass that grew out of the cracks in the side walk. There was comfortable silence between the two for about 7 minutes until...

TWEEE~EEET

The boy peered over his arms and looked at his sister. Rei was blowing on a piece of long grass making that loud annoying sound. 

TWEEEEEE~EEEEEEET

"Imooto-chan."

"Hmm?" She hummed then blew on the blade of grass again.

The morning sun was shining in his eyes, so made a visor with his hand then teased. "Must you do that every morning?" 

"Whatever do you mean?" She asked innocently. Then she blew on the grass blade again, but this time even louder and longer. This was a morning ritual between the two. 

Shinji reached over and grabbed the long piece of grass and tried to take it away from her, but Rei held onto it with a tight grip. It wasn't long before the two were engaged in a gentle game of tug-a-war. Neither one was really trying to win. It was just a game that they both secretly reveled in because there hands would brush up against each others every so often. The secret joy of that touch was why Rei would do this to him every morning and why Shinji would pretend to get upset. They were secretly flirting under the guise of just being close siblings. 

When the blade broke, Rei pouted, poked out her lip and gave Shinji a puppy dog face. That face both broke the boy's heart and made him laugh. He knew there was no real sorrow behind that face, for that expression was something Rei saw someone do at one of her many visits to the commons. And since then, she had perfected it and used it on him, often. However, the first time she did it to him, he thought that he did something wrong, and got really freaked out. But now he knew better.

Rei would often spend time at the commons, not only because it was a lively place that held a sorts of free entertainment: the first child would go there to observe and study people. She wanted to know how interact with others, so she learned by watching. 

When Shinji started laughing , Rei laughed too. The boy loved to hear her laughter. It was a giggle trapped behind tightly pressed lips, so it sounded like she hummed out her laughter. It wasn't only her laughter that he loved. Shinji actually loved everything about her and wondered how he ever managed to live without her by his side. 

~~~~~

What the two teens didn't know was that they were being observed. Behind the gate, Isoo was watching the two play their game of grass tug-a-war. A smile tugged at his lips, he never met two siblings that got along so well and cared so much for each other. He felt sorry for Miki though, because his sister Wakaba was so ill. He had met her, last week, the first day she walked him to work. He had wanted to meet her since the day he hired the boy, to make sure that Miki wasn't lying to him just to get a job. It was after their meeting that he secretly raised the boys wages. He couldn't help it. He felt so bad for them and Wakaba was so delicate. But that wasn't the only reason he helped them out, for it was that initial meeting that the 19 year old, Isoo found himself hopelessly smitten with the gentle Wakaba Kazoku.

~~~~

Rei walked Shinji to the gates entrance.

"Don't stay at the commons to long okay, Wakaba." Shinji said to Rei. It was easier to remember her pseudo name since the first time on the train. "Its supposed to get really hot today, and I don't want you to get sun poisoning." 

Rei stared at him. She knew this already. This was the same thing he told her everyday. Moreover, she *knew* how to take care of herself. But she never told him so. Shinji took his role of 'big brother' seriously. So instead, she eased his worries. "I'm actually going to go to the library today. They got some new books coming in." Then mentally added. I'm also going to check out the want ads and try an get a job 

The boy smiled in relief then reached into his pocket, and pulled out a few yen. "Do you need lunch money?" She shook her head no. But he put the money in her hand anyway.

Rei tried to give the money back, but he wouldn't take it. "What about you?"

"I'll be ok." He assured then fibbed "I still have some money for my lunch."

She pursed her lips. She didn't believe him. "Let me see the money."

His dark blue eyes widened. He was caught in a lie. 

"I thought so." She put the money back in his hand. "You need lunch money more than I do. Anyway, I still have money from yesterday."

"And *I* saw you put that money in the rent can last night!" He chastised and slapped the money back in her tiny hand. "You need to eat. You're getting too thin."

He had her there. Rei had lost some weight, but not a lot. She had too and in her opinion, loosing a few pounds was worth it. Shinji worked so hard, she wanted to make sure that *he* had food. So she would only eat to when it was absolutely necessary. 

Rei lifted her rose tinted glass slightly, so she could rub her eye. When she was finished, she looked at him and compromised. "Okay, ...I will hold the money, but I'm going to use it to buy us a lunch we can share."

Shinji thought about her words then nodded. 

She nodded too, then asked. "What time are you going to take lunch?"

"Umm..." He scratch the back of his head. "Two."

"Okay I will be back at two with our lunch."

The boy smiled at the thought of seeing her later in the day. "Okay, see you then." The work whistle blew, attracting both there attention. "I better go."

Rei nodded and watched him leave. She hated to say goodbye even if it was only for a couple of hours. When he was inside the gate, he turned around and called out.

"Rice!"

"Huh?" She didn't understand what he meant.

He called back to her. "Get us some rice for lunch! I'm getting tired of ramen!" He waved goodbye to her and ran toward the office to clock in. 

The girl nodded; she was getting tired of ramen as well. Rei stood at the gate and watched until her brother disappeared inside the main office. Her bottom lip poked out dejectedly; she missed him already. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Around 1pm, Rei left the library. She found a want ad for a job in rich sector of town. The person was in need of a maid. On her way there, she stopped by the commons. One of her favorite poets was performing some new stuff, and if she hurried she could probably get a spot underneath some shade, and she wouldn't have to worry Shinji by getting a sunburn.

Rei was enjoying the woman's poetry. It was about a forbidden love. Though the characters in the story were not siblings, the deep unrequited love they shared reminded Rei of hers and her brother's love. When the poetry reading was over, she headed toward the job prospect.

Daydreaming about Shinji, she didn't notice that she was being followed... until it was too late.

Two guys, that were around the same age as her grabbed her and pulled her deep into an alley.

"Give me your money!" A boy with hair that was the same color as her natural hair demanded.

Rei looked at the boy and took his narrow, pimplely face into memory and said "No." How could she say anything else. That money was supposed to buy her brother lunch. 

"N-no?" The other boy sputtered out. His hair was the color of a flaming, red fire engine. "You must not know who you are talking to! Now give us your money you stupid b*tch!" 

"No." Rei repeated again. She knew that was a stupid answer and that she should have just handed over the money. It wasn't even that much in the first place. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Rei felt her blood stir with this confrontation. She also felt the part of her being which was kept suppressed by those little red pills awaken.

"Don't make us hurt you!" The blue haired boy yelled and pushed her hard against the wall. "Just give us the damn money!"

Rei grabbed the back of her head after she slammed it against the brick wall.

"F*ck it! I'm just going to take the damn money!" The red haired boy growled and stuffed his hands in Rei's pants pockets

"No!" She growled back and futilely tried to push him back and fight him off. "That's my money!"

The red haired guy back handed her across the face, making the black hair of her wig fan about, and her glasses fly off her face and break against the wall. The pain of being hit made her cup her face with her hands and slide down the wall as he took her money. 

The two boys didn't know this, but they had just made a grievance error. There was a reason why Rei was the heart of the dummy plug system, and they were about to find out what that reason was. 

Deep in the recesses of her brain, a tiny flame began to grow and hidden behind her tiny hands, Rei's eyes began to glow. Her passive side was clicked off and a divine rage consumed her. 

"I said **NO**!!!!!!" Her voice roared as she looked up and faced them. A strong wind current swirled around all three of them.

"Oh f*ck!" The blue haired boy screamed and backed up in fear. The girl had red eyes! He wasn't sure if it was the drugs in his system, but the girl looked as if her eyes were glowing. 

The other boys wasn't lucky enough to move back. Rei grabbed him by his shirt collar and with her divine strength, she through him across the alley. He hit the adjacent wall in with a sickening thud. 

The blue haired boy was trembling as he glanced back at his friend. The red haired boys body was slumped over, he was passed out, but in the boy's mind he looked dead. He glanced back at the girl they tried to rob. She was walking toward him, slowly and confidently and she had a wry smirk on her face. He started to tremble and tripped over a broken bottle. Scooting back to get away from her, he whimpered. "Please... I'm sorry...."

She shook her head no. It was too late for sorry's.

"Here..." He started emptying his pockets and held out a couple of thousand yen a watch and some jewerly. "Here...take it all! Just...please..." He started to cry "Please don't kill me... I'll do anything you ask... ANYTHING just don't kill me.

The dark hair of her wig fluttered beautifully around her face and Rei started speaking, not in Japanese but in her divine tongue. A language she had forgotten that she knew. "Torro da je goska no tane bor jedare ne."

He shook his head tell her he didn't understand. 

She quirked a brow and repeated a rough translation of her words. However, it was more like a warning. "It is said that it is better to tie a millstone around your neck and cast yourself into the sea than offend a child of G--"

"What's going on here?!" An irate voice interrupted. 

Rei immediately powered down and turned to face the voice. The blue haired boy took the distraction as an opportunity to grab his friend and run away. The first child whipped her gaze toward the boy, but did not follow him once she noticed that he had conveniently left the money and the jewelry on the ground. 

The person ran toward her. "Wakaba! Are you ok?"

She nodded and quickly picked up the money, and other items, and stuffed them into her pocket. 

Isoo placed his hand on her shoulder and crouched down beside her. "Are you sure your ok? They didn't hurt you did they?!"

She didn't look at him but shook her head no. Rei glance around the small alley for her glasses. She noticed them by the wall and they were broken. A small frown graced her lips. There would be no way for her to get out of here without him seeing her eyes. 

Isoo grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. He noticed that she shut her eyes. He assumed that she was afraid of him. "I'm not going to hurt you, Wakaba. I promise. I just want to make sure you're okay..." His words died in his mouth when he saw the bruise on her cheek. "They hit you?!" He was furious. "On your FACE?!" How could anyone dare mar her beautiful face? His dark almond shaped eyes narrowed viciously. There was going to be hell to pay when he found out who did this to her. 

"I am alright, Tomoyo-san." Rei assured and stood up. She kept her eyes closed though.

He looked up at her, then stood up as well. He was at least five inches taller than her. In a whisper he praised. "Your so brave little one...so very brave." Most girls he knew would be in hysterics by now. Isoo then brushed the dark hair of her wig out of her face and tenderly caressed her bruised cheek. Immediately the feel of her skin shocked him. Never in all his privileged life had he felt skin as soft as hers. That made him even more upset that she was hit.

Rei had a bad feeling she would have a bruise. The soreness was gone because she had used her powers, but for some reason the bruises always took a little more time to disappear. Then she realized what she did. I USED MY POWERS!!!! Her crimson eyes snapped open fearfully and she looked around expecting to hear an Angel attack alarm. 

Isoo gasped and stepped back when he saw her blood red eyes. Since there first meeting, he had wanted to see what her eyes looked like behind her rose tinted glasses. However, wasn't expecting for them to be a deep crimson. Her brother had a dark blue eyes, and he had expected for them to be the same. 

When Rei realized that the alarm was not going to blare, she looked at the shocked older teen in front of her. This was the first time she ever really noticed what he looked like. The last time she meet him, she was completely wrapped up in Shinji. 

Isoo Tomoyo had raven black hair, which looked like soft satin and it was cut in a child like bowl hair cut. He had strong Asian features with exotic, dark, almond shaped eyes and olive skin. His cheekbones, jaw line and nose looked like those of aristocracy, and he carried himself like those of noble birthright. All-in-all, he was an extremely handsome young man. But in Rei's opinion, he had nothing on Shinji. 

She repeated again. "I am alright" then shimmied out of his loose grip. When she reached the sidewalk he called out.

"Wait Wakaba!" Isoo ran to catch up with her. "Let me take you wherever you are going." Rei ignored him and kept her pace, but he caught up despite her efforts to elude him. "Please... let me take you were you are going!"

Rei did not look up at him when she informed. "That will not be necessary." She quickened her pace.

As so did he. He followed silently until he noticed a piece of folded newspaper in her back pocket. It looked like a want ad. So being the gentleman that he was, he grabbed it. 

Rei stopped dead in her tracks. 

Her crimson eyes were as wide as saucers. He had the audacity to touch her butt! She had never felt so violated in her whole life!! 

Isoo unfolded the paper and looked at it. He honestly didn't think he did anything wrong. "You're trying to get a job?" He quirked a brow then noticed an ad that was circled. His eyes widened, and he shook his head no. "Oh.. you don't want to work here!. Trust me." He pointed at the paper and looked at her. "I've known this guy for years....Otorro-san is a dirty old man who likes to take advantage of his help..." He wiggled his brow suggestively. " If you know what I mean."

The first child reached up and grabbed her paper from him. She was angry at him for his disrespect. How dare he grab something out of her pocket and so close to her private region too!! 

"Do not ever do that again." She warned 

Rei then turned around and headed toward the direction of Shinji's work. She decided not to interview for the job as a maid in the Otorro household. Rei wasn't sure what Isoo meant by _taking advantage of his help_, but by the way he said it, it didn't sound good. 

"Gomen, Wakaba!" The older teen cried out and followed her again. "I didn't..."He shook his head. "I meant no disrespect...I just forgot my place." He hoped that would soothe her anger. He never had someone react like that because of his boldness. He had never met a girl that wasn't all over him, flirting with him and giggling after everything he said. Most girls *hoped* to gain his attention, since he was the eldest of the mayor's two sons and the heir to the richest family in all of Kyione. Wakaba's indifference toward him was completely foreign to him and it... intrigued him immensely. 

When they walked past his car he offered. "Do you need a ride?"

Rei glanced at his Mercedes then shook her head no. 

"Are you sure?" He couldn't believe that she passed up the chance to ride in a Mercedes.

She continued walking. "My brother would not approve." She wasn't sure if Shinji would approve or not, but he was as good an excuse as any. 

Isoo quirked a brow. "I don't think he would mind."

"It would not be proper....for me to be in your car un-chaperoned." Rei interjected. She didn't really believe that but she didn't want to be around him. He pissed her off by acting so intimately with her. 

"Oh..." Isoo smiled broadly. Wakaba was raised in the traditional way!. He was in love! And as far as he was concerned, sick or not, Wakaba was going to be his woman and quite possible his wife!! It was rare to find a traditional girl anymore. "If you are certain that Miki-kun would not approve, then please allow me to walk you wherever you are going."

Rei's silently exhaled; she didn't want him to follow her. However, she didn't protest; he was Shinji's boss after all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the two finally reached the work site it was about 2:10pm. Shinji was standing outside the gate looking a bit worried. 

Isoo took a deep nervous breath and shifted the weight of the package he was carrying in his arms. Rei didn't say much on the walk there, but what she did say, made him understand that Miki was the head of their household. The teen knew that if he wanted a chance to date Wakaba, he would have to get her brother's permission first. 

The pilot of unit 01 face lit up when he noticed Rei, then he looked confused when he noticed that she didn't have on her glasses. Then a look of surprise graced his face when he noticed his boss with her. 

Rei walked over to him, nervously combing her fingers through her wig to cover up the bruise. 

"You're late.. I was worried." Shinji admitted to Rei, after he bowed respectfully to his boss.

Rei lowered her head. "Gomen."

"Its ok." The pilot assured. "I was just worried that's all." He noticed that she didn't have their lunch "Um.. did you forget the rice?" He hoped not. Around 12pm he became dreadfully hungry and he was really looking forward to lunch. 

"Oh! I have your lunch!"

Shinji looked up at his boss.

Isoo held out bag of food. "I hope you don't mind. I picked it out and paid for it."

"Oh...umm" Shinji gingerly took the bag from him. It was heavy. "Thank you, but I really don't have the money to pay you back."

Isoo shook his head and flicked his wrist. "Think nothing of it. It was the least I could do. I just wish I had gotten to the alley sooner before your sister got attacked." Isoo then included, to get on the Miki's good side. "I saved her you know." 

Rei looked at the older teen with a silent expression that said _No_ you_ did_ not_.

"Wh-WHAT!!!!!" Shinji yelled and quickly put the bag of food on the ground. He grabbed Rei by the shoulders and turned her to face him. "Are you okay? Why didn't you tell me you were attacked?! Please tell me you are ok!... Oh Gawd..." He raked his hand through his brown hair. "I should have been there to protect you!" He embraced her and buried his head onto her shoulder. "Are you ok?"

"I am okay, oniisan." Rei, whispered comfortingly and embraced him back. 

Shinji pulled back a bit and gazed at her face. Immediately, he saw the bruise on her check and his eyes watered up with unshed tears "I failed you again...." Rei shook her head. Shinji nodded. "I did.. I should have been there...to protect you." A singled hot tear trickled from his eye and Rei reached up, cupped his check with her hand, and tenderly wiped it away with her thumb.

"Please don't cry." She begged in a shaking whisper. Seeing his sorrow sent her on the verge of crying herself. 

Isoo gave a queer looked at the to twins. The way they were embracing each other and the way they were staring at each other...well, it was starting to make him feel uncomfortable. The gazes the two bestowed on each other were not that of siblings but of... lovers? He shook that ridiculous thought out of his head and wrote off their behavior as a 'twin thing.' He had heard, somewhere, that twins had a strong and intimate bond.... Even so...

"Ahem" Isoo coughed. He wanted to put a stop to their blatant affection toward each other. 

Shinji and Rei looked up at him as if they just remembered he was there. The two then looked at each other and noticed their closeness. The third child was tempted to push Rei back, but stopped himself because he knew that would hurt her feelings. Moreover, it was *he* who embraced her in public, not the other way around. So instead, he followed her lead, and the two casually let go of one another and stepped back. 

Isoo noticed the unshed tears in both of their eyes. He could tell the boy was upset and afraid for his sister, so he did the only thing he could think of doing. "Miki-kun, you can have the rest of the day off. I'm sure you don't want your sister walking around by herself after her attack."

Shinji nodded and bowed. "Thank you, sir! And thank you for protecting her." 

Isoo looked a Rei and smiled. "It's no problem, at all." He looked back a the boy and nodded politely. He felt like he made some bonus points in getting into Miki's favor. He then returned his gaze toward Rei "Oh and Wakaba, if you are still in need of a job, I have been looking for secretary."

Now that was a bold face lie, and the raven-haired teen knew it, but he also knew that it was the perfect opportunity to be in the girl's company.

still in need of a job?! Shinji whipped his gaze at Rei. He was not happy. 

Rei winced under his gaze. 

"Uh..." Isoo winced too. He realized that he just put his foot in his mouth. "Was your brother not supposed to know?"

His words made Shinji frown deeply. 

"Gomen." Rei whispered.

Shinji was about to speak but was interrupted by Isoo. "It wouldn't be a hard job, Miki-kun." He assured "Just a bit of paper shuffling." Isoo could tell the boy was going to protest, so he tried to appeal to Miki's desire to keep his sister way from harm. "Anyway, won't you feel safer knowing that Wakaba is safe at the jobsite all day..... You two can even work the same schedule. "

Shinji narrowed his eyes and he wondered if he was being set up. He looked at the food then at Rei. did you plan this? He looked coolly at his boss and answered in a collected voice. "I'll think about it." He picked up his food and started walking away from them. "Imooto-chan."

"Hai." Rei could hear Shinji's anger in his voice and understood that he was beckoning her to follow him. She bit her bottom lip and started to follow. Now she had a dilemma. Because he was upset, she was now too afraid to tell him that she used her powers today. 

"I'm sorry, Wakaba." The tall teen murmured as she walked past him. He watched the two Kozoku's twins walk down the street until they disappeared around the corner. When they were out of sight, he groaned and looked upward toward the sky. I shouldn't brought up Wakaba working in front of Miki. I should have know that if she was raised in the traditional ways... then of course her brother was.... then to top it off with her illness!!! f*ck!!... Of course Miki-kun doesn't want her working!.... I'm so stupid!

Isoo turned angrily, making his bowl cut hair fan about like a disk, and stormed into the worksite. Now he was back to square one! And to make matters worse, Miki was like his sister and not bending over backwards to try and please him. That meant he was going to have to try and impress them, especially Miki. how the hell am I supposed to do that? I don't know anything about the kid! 

He didn't know anything about trying to impress people either. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Rei followed Shinji in silence the entire walk home. When they got into the apartment, he placed the bag of food on the kitchen counter and asked in shaking whisper. 

"Do you think that I am not man enough to take care of you?" The pilot's pride was hurt... to the point he felt crushed. Rei's opinion of him meant everything to him. 

Because he had his back turned to her, she couldn't see his face, but she could tell by his voice that he was crying. The first child took a deep breath and answered truthfully. "I think you are more than man enough, Shinji." 

"Then why are you looking for a job?" He asked in a broken whisper. 

Rei bit on her bottom lip as she debated on how to answer his question. A minute later, she decided to just be honest. She walked into the small kitchen, faced him, and grabbed his hand. She held it, palm up, and said. "This is why I want to work."

Shinji looked down at his hand. It was calloused, blistered and slightly bloody from the new blister that opened while he worked that day. 

Rei gently caressed his sun tanned arm. "And this is why.... You tell me to stay out of the sun, but yet,.... you work in it all day." She looked up at him and at his hair, which was a couple of shades lighter. 

Shinji noticed her eyes fill with tears.

In a broken voice, she continued. "You work so hard... everyday..... and such long hours...Your body aches and... your tired all the time...." She sniffed back her tears and continued. "You act as if it doesn't bother you--"

"It doesn't." He assured in a whisper as he wiped away a tear that escaped her crimson eyes. He felt it was completely worth it.

Her mouth felt wet and she swallowed hard. Rei could tell that she was about to bawl. It almost stopped her from continuing her explanation. Almost. "It bothers *me*, Shinji... It bothers me because I am capable of helping you...of helping *us*" She couldn't hold back her tears, and they began to fall freely. "I want to help you, Shinji....I want to help you carry *our* burden." She stared into his eyes, unsure if he believed her or not, and begged "Please don't be mad at me...I only want to help you." 

Shinji wrapped his arms around her and sobbed. "I could never be mad you, Rei-chan!" He started to kiss away her tears "Never ever...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry I got upset...I just thought.. I thought you didn't believe in me anymore!"

Rei tenderly cupped his face within her hands and moved her head closer to kiss away his tears. She hiccupped out a sob. "I'll never stop believing in you....ever...I promise."

"Thank.. you..." He whimpered out and kissed her cheek. 

She nodded "you're welcome" and kissed the corner of his mouth.

Shinji closed his dark blue eyes and tilted his head slightly to his left.

Rei closed her deep crimson eyes and tilted her head slightly to her left.

And before either of the two sobbing teens took the time to realize it....

They kissed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still don't own anything that deals with Evangelion. 

I am so sorry this took so long to get out. I've been really busy this holiday month. ~_~ Gomen.

Love ya lots I really really do.

Kimberly


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